Hand In My Pocket

I'm sorry

2010-08-23T12:28:00.000+05:30

I think the more I hang on to you the more you will suffer. I just don't know what should I do to support you. I am not calling you lately, in fact I have not been calling anyone. I'm a loner. I'm not enjoying life but I think I am better off this way. I don't get attached to people these days. I don't hang on to anyone's happiness or grief. It just doesn't matter to me. I am happy living for myself now. There are a lot of confusions but I don't discuss it with people. I don't care because no one really does.

I know I have done bad things. I cannot remember them all my life and stop living. I have to move on and so do you. You have to move on more importantly because I want to see you living. But you have been living in hell. You should stand and try solving things.

I didn't want to say this, but I've always seen you this way. Even when you were with me you were always broken. Only the intensity was low. You were trying to be happy and I was helping you. But you were still broken and you never came out of that grief. I never saw that love between us that I always craved for. And I could have supported you that way. But I needed comfort in it. I don't know what happened but I just didn't want to continue. I just wanted to be single and moving. I know you never put any restriction but still I didn't see life with you. I didn't see us happy together. We were never happy with each other or even if we were, we never showed it maybe because we were never comfortable enough to show each other our feelings. And those feelings really don't matter do they? So with that awkwardness I couldn't carry on. I know you were broken into pieces and I am a villain. But I still think that I did the right thing because without a pure feeling we couldn't make our lives great. Even you you admit that we were more like friends rather than couple. You were right, we were only friends. Let's accept it. We didn't get along well in relationship.

Fault is all mine and I don't blame you for anything - you were innocent. I came into your life. And further made it a hell for you. And because of me you have been suffering. I want you to be strong and confident. I always wanted to see you very strong and confident but from the day I met you I found you broken. Every time I dropped you home and made my way towards mine I had a feeling that we were not meant for each other (I don't know what you thought about us but I was not enjoying and we have discussed it many times when we were in relationship too). Sometimes I think that things could have been different. After breaking up you could have come to me and broke my leg or slapped me in the face. You could have done anything to keep it alive. But you accepted whatever I decided (I am thankful) but had you done that, things could have been different. I could have known how desperate you were and I could have seen the strong side of you. I could have got one chance to believe that there's love between us. But from that day you have become weaker and weaker. I always wanted to see you strong. But now I have moved on without you and lonesome life is far better for me. I don't talk to people and don't discuss my problems. I just do whatever I feel like. I don't even talk to my parents much. I live alone and I think I am doing well.

Anyway you should try to take things easily in life. I know it is hard, very difficult for you. But for how long? How long will you allow this thing to eat you? How long can you carry on like this? How long will you get broken? It has been 2 years already and your tears don't stop. I have seen you cry when you were with me. I couldn't hold your hands all the time and live in the sadness that someone else gave you.

Hate me. Hate me more so that you can be strong. You have to hate me to get strong. So do that. I'd love to see you stronger.

I'm a housefly

2009-11-23T10:42:00.009+05:30

I am a housefly in the window. When the sun shines, I find the world outside very beautiful. I fancy of being there, looking at myself as a part of that world. I imagine things that I believe would be so special to explore. Not that I am not happy being inside, in fact I live in the most safest settings inside the house as there are no creatures that make me prey, but the beauty of the outer world is just irresistible. I prepare my wings to fly and with all the excitement and impatience, I toss my wings and flip them towards the world. But out of nowhere, I strike something that I can't see. I don't see the transparent window. I try to push myself and strike it again with my head rolling. As if I never feel the pain, I again strike the window naive of the fact that the barrier is unbreakable. I wander close to the barrier trying to push it and get outside but every time in vain.

There are other houseflies too, trying to penetrate the wall. But a lot of them have the same fate as mine. Some manage to escape the terror of having to stay in the house when they luckily find some windows open. But the windows soon get closed. With little ability to understand what's happening, I carry on and when I lose all my faith in my strength I look for another way outside. I find ways but they're all the same. I keep on flying in the house hoping for someone to open the windows. But that never happens and I am trapped in the house that I find to be a boring place. The outer world as is said has so much in store or so I believe. The fear of having to spend all my life inside the house drags me to the window again. With some gained strength I bang the window with my body. But the window is too strong to be broken. I bang again and again but nothing changes except the intensity of light.

Soon the sun goes down and the dusk breaks. As I fail my aspirations, the outer world seems dark to me. I now find the outer world to be ugly with nowhere to go and nothing to do. I find the light inside the house to be more pleasant and the house - a beautiful place. I suddenly become proud that I'm inside the house and tap my own back for not leaving such a wonderful place earlier. I fall in love with the house. As the night breaks, I find that there are some new entrants in search of light and I go back to the window and see that there are thousands of moths that long to get inside. I feel proud that I'm on the better part of the world. I fly here and there and dance in front of those moths and tease them from inside. But my happiness is not for long. The lights go off, darkness prevails inside too. I look out of the window again. I see that there's a faint light far away and there are no more moths outside the window anymore. I remember my short-lived happiness and curse myself. Tired and wary, I resort to some safe place to fall asleep.

Again the dawn breaks, the sun shines and I realize how wrong I was to believe the house to be more beautiful than the outer world. I again try to break the window and again the same story repeats. I wander around the window, I look at the world and I curse myself again. This is my fate, this is the world I should live in, this is the best I can get in life. I never realize that I have so much to do inside the house, I have so many wonders happening inside and the outer world is just too unsettling. I have made my own place to sleep, my friends, and my family. I will not earn anything outside the house, but I never stop going to the window, looking outside and longing to explore the world.

October 15 '08

2009-10-21T14:40:00.002+05:30

"Hi it's me Anurag from the Boss", I received a phone call. "You have been selected as a reporter. You may join from October 15". Abhishek, Sushanta, Narayan and me were literally waiting for the call. Narayan had also applied for the post and appeared for the interview the same day. We were told that we would be informed by the evening.

We had already started looking at the watch from 1 o'clock and Narayan was already panicking. It was quite difficult for me to stay calm beside my panicking friend. Every ring that afternoon would give us a heart attack. I can't forget how Abhishek and Sushanta played prank on us by giving rings. It was 3 in the afternoon when I received the call. I announced my being selected and everyone was excited and congratulated me. Narayan was nervous. He was afraid that he did not get selected. The situation was getting difficult but within 5 minutes there was a ring on his phone. He picked it up and it was Anurag Dai again. Narayan got selected as well.

A year passed since I joined my first job. I was very happy. I was glad that I was not appointed alone and there was a friend with whom I was a new comer. That made the situation a little easier. We were the reporters of the most selling business magazine in Nepal. The first day we were wondering what would it be like to be a reporter. With a business background, and being fresh graduates waiting for the final results, we were a little nervous. But it was not that difficult. Soon we were to make friends and find out what reporting was all about. I enjoyed the job very much and was very very happy with what I was doing. The environment at work was very cool I must say. Nothing to worry, no single place to stay for eight straight hours and most of all, it was not a classroom.

The saddest part, I was not aware that my stay at the first job was not going to be more than one and half months. Not to be mistaken, I was not fired, I was enjoying the job very much (it is the thing I still believe that I'd always love to do), and I might return to the same profession someday. There were other reasons that forced me to switch my job. I was suggested the switch by almost everyone. Though I never wanted to leave, I was dragged by everyone to make the decision. No offence to anyone and no regrets at all, but sometimes I wish I stuck with my first job at least for a year. When I say this to people, they take me as a fool and laugh at me. But there is a difference in doing what you want to do and doing what you have to do. I always wanted to make a career in writing and someday I want to return to the same profession again. I still have time, but I wasted almost eleven months. I could have done whatever I wanted to, but I took a decision that always makes me feel sad though I am paid more than thrice here.

One and half months were like heaven. I followed Anurag dai almost everywhere he went whenever possible. I accompanied Suman otherwise and learnt how to prepare a story. I attended press conferences and wrote about them but they would not be more than 100 words. I wanted to do something big. I wanted to do a feature article but I was too immature for that (my topics would be very vague and sometimes it disappointed me a lot). To my surprise, I was assigned a people's story within fifteen days. I was very happy to do that. I took it very seriously and prepared questions. I was a little nervous though. I took the interview, and with utmost sincerity I wrote the story. It was my birthday, that I got a rewrite task on that story. That disappointed me a lot. While I finished that story in a day earlier, it took me three whole days to rewrite with a lot of help from Suman, Caeser and Narayan. It was later approved and I was very happy about that. Immediately after that, I was building a story on furniture. I was going to write a feature article and it was going to get published.

But my dreams shattered as I had to switch my job. I made the decision and from every aspect except from the view of my satisfaction, the new job was perfect. I have spent eleven months in my new job and I have gained quite a lot than expected. I have matured as a professional and almost everyone is happy with my work. I have no intentions of leaving the job right now, but I'm sure I'll get back to writing someday and that will happen soon.

Cheers!!!

White Bed Black Wheels

2009-10-15T07:28:00.005+05:30

I had to be rushed to the hospital with everybody panicking. The fever wouldn't come down from 105. At the OPD Dr. Pathak urged me to get admitted immediately. It was the first time I remember being admitted to a hospital. I was said that there was one occasion when I was a child too young to remember. '248 A' was assigned to me. I was too weak to remember how I was taken to bed. I just wanted to lay. I remember faintly that it was a cabin-like room with two beds (one already occupied). There was a bathroom attached and my bed was beside the window. There was a fan on the ceiling moving at quite a speed. I had already started shivering when I climbed the bed. The bed was a little taller than I had expected.

There came the Doctor to ask for the details. He asked me so many questions that I wished he was dead. He talked so much about useless TB that for once I feared that I was having TB. He asked me to show where I was operated when I was young. I wondered why was he so interested to see. Later I heard myself asking him questions like when did he pass MBBS and from where. Then did I realize that he was a fresh MBBS graduated and thus those questions. Later he went but the fever wouldn't slide down.

A nurse rushed in and pierced a needle into my viens. "Abui yo bachcha lai ta kasto jwaro aako!!", she exclaimed. More than the fever, her calling me bachcha bothered me more. I looked at her. She wasn't very old, must be on her mid thirties and she took me as a kid. I didn't understand. She connected the IV to my viens through a bottle of antibiotic. She stoffed two pills of paracetamols into my mouth. I thought I was asleep. Suddenly I was shaken and there was this beautiful lady in front of my eyes. I realized I was in a hospital bed. She put the thermometer under my arms and went. I thought hours passed since she left and she wouldn't arrive. She came again to announce my temperature which was 105.8. I was not amazed, I was hardly in a position to realize what that meant.

Later again I was forced to open my eyes. The beautiful nurse was holding a syringe in her hand. She asked me to change side and then put the syringe on my back. It did not hurt. Now there was another one to be put through the needle in my hand. She asked me to take a long breath. She tried to talk to me but I could not bring myself to answer her questions. This time it hurt very much. More than the pain it was irritating. I closed my eyes and such things came on my mind that I just can't remember but all I know was anything I thought of was not for more than two seconds. I remember Abishek was always there. He talked to me everytime and kept me alive. But everytime after a little chat I went to sleep.

I woke up this time fully drenched in my own sweat. My shirt was fully soaked. I could not sleep. I looked up. Dad was sleeping I don't know for how long. I didn't wake him up but waited to fall asleep again but in vain. To my surprise in less than 10 minutes the nurses arrived. This time they were new ones again. "Look at him, he is fully soaked", one of them said. Another put the thermometer under my arms again. Dad woke up. "Do you have another shirt?", one of them asked. I tried hard to remember but I couldn't. "No", Dad replied. The nurse immediately rushed, I don't know where, and came back with a gown. She brought a gauge with her and wiped my body. Then both of them helped me out with wearing the gown. 102 was the temperature. "This guy is amazing", one of the nurses uttered. "He had almost 106 fever and never panicked. He is the same at 102". "Yes! He is so cool", I heard another of them agree. I lied down again and the nurses went.

It was early in the morning must be around 5 when Mom arrived with some soup for me. I was in no mood to eat but I had to. I was feeling a little better but still a little unconcious of what was going on. The nurse again came and put the antibiotic. Then another one with the worst part - Metron being injected. The fever, they measured and again it was 104. Paracetamol again. I think in 6 hours I took three of them. People started to arrive. I had to talk to them for a while. They'd ask questions and suggest food. I'd had some juice and again sleep. All I wanted to do was sleep so that I wouldn't have to bear the pain of heat. But sleeping was the toughest part.

There was a girl on the other bed. I never saw her because of the curtain until the day she was discharged. Her voice was very sweet and seemed to be a mongolian tone. She wanted some fresh blood and it was getting difficult for her to manage. The second day, she was about to leave without blood as she was tired I suppose. But there was a huge male voice that visited her. He scolded her and told her that it was waste of time and money to go without blood being transfused. She was convinced and her sister in law who seemed to be very young too, called people and they managed to have some fresh blood. That night she was transfused with three pints of blood. She seemed very happy the next day. She packed her things from the morning but with the hassles in the hospital everyone knows, she was discharged only in the evening at around 6 I suppose. She bade goodbye and it was the first time I saw her. I knew I was going to miss that voice, partly because I envied her freedom. I didn't know I was about to stay three more nights after her departure.

Immediately after her departure, there was an arrival of a couple. The woman was being operated the next morning. I didn't bother about what was happening on the other side of the curtain. I wanted to sleep, moreover I wanted the fever to come down so that I would be discharged. But I knew it was going to take time.

"This antibiotic failed yesterday", Dr. Pathak said. "So I have started another one from yesterday evening. It will take 72 hours. It will be 24 hours this evening", he said. I was so disappointed then. 72 hours meant three days. Three more days in that bed that made so much noise when I twisted and turned. I wanted the time to pass but time is the only thing that disappoints you. It passes with a blink of an eye when you don't want it to and it takes years for hours to pass on the other side. I could not feel any better. I was not convinced that the antibiotic was working until after 48 hours when I was able to sit on the bed. I was able to talk but not for long. It was Saturday when 72 hours would complete. That meant I wouldn't be discharged that day. The next morning on Sunday, I was feeling very good. I had no fever for the first time. I was feeling as if nothing had happened. Dr. Pathak arrived and asked whether 72 hours were complete. "Okay. So do you want to spend one more night or go home?", he asked me with a happy face. There was no alternate to going home. I immediately pointed towards door and said I wanted to leave.

That afternoon I had to wait until 3 to put my dose. I thanked the nurses and luckily the ones who had taken so much care the first night were on the duty. I thanked them tonnes and headed outside the hospital. I boarded a taxi towards home. It felt like I was a bird. It felt so good to be back home. I lay on my bed. It was so comfortable. Those six days that white bed with black wheels, gave me all sorts of trouble but still I miss that bed. That was where I threw away my pains, fever and healed to be able to walk back home.

Cheers!!!

New Days

2009-09-08T09:54:00.005+05:30

Now that it has been quite a time that I started preparing for IELTS, I am finding the listening part easier by the day. The format is pretty easy and the conversations are so descriptive that you don't have to even check the answers to know if you got them correct. However sometimes, the talk skips your mind so fast that you will skip a couple of questions without knowing but that is a rare case. I'm enjoying learning it, however I am yet to start the reading tests. I am planning to appear for a mockup test this Saturday at one of the consultancies around. Hope I will gain some more confidence by doing that.

Besides, life is on a fast lane at the moment. Until lately, I never had to work and study at the same time. But doing that right now has left so little time for me to look at anything else. Also, I am quite busy preparing proposals at work and recommendations to apply to the colleges. The path seems pretty easy at the moment, only that I have to spend a little huge amount of money to be able to go. I hope my Dad doesn't mind spending the amount.

I'm still not sure whether it will be a wise decision to spend the amount and whether it is worth spending at the moment. But as someone said to me, 'Let's prepare for the best and hope for the worst', I am doing just that. She said it really works.

Besides all these, I am also involved trying to form a coalition with a company from Pokhara through which we (a group of friends at work) will be handling projects. The deal is not far, I have sent the MoU and hopefully, they will agree upon that. If they do, we will first have to register our company and before that we have to think of a name for the company. Suggestions from my readers are welcome (Any creative name would do, does not have to be industry specific). I am very hopeful of this venture and if we succeed, it will be the first step towards fulfilling my dream.

That's all for today friends. I will be back with some more updates soon.

Till then.

Have fun.

Cheers!!!

A refreshing Saturday

2009-09-06T09:48:00.002+05:30

I woke up with the memories of the sweetest dream that I saw that night. Every now and then I was smiling and my mother wanted to know the mystery behind my happy face. I just smiled at her.

Now that I had registered for IELTS, I started preparing for it. The morning went with completion of couple of reading exercises. After having lunch and finishing the washing of my clothes, I called Sushanta. He said that he had a couple of books that I wanted to borrow. He called me home sometime in the afternoon. But a while later he asked me to pick him up and that we were going to Snooker. "Are you nuts? I need to prepare and I don't even have two weeks' time.", I screamed but I had no choice. I myself didn't want to miss the opportunity because Bikash will be busy from Tuesday as he has joined KUSOM.

At Bhrikuti Mandap, we had a great time at snooker. The last time we played there was on the last day of our final exam of final semester. I remember how we had thought of life after college to be wonderful and felt free, though the life we lived after that was not at all in comparison with what we lived at college.

We all felt so hungry that we didn't even bother to complete the 'kitti' and rushed to Khaja ghar. The lunch was so good and we ate so much that I though I wouldn't have to eat for two days from then.

Later at home lights went out. I had nothing to do but play some tunes in the guitar until the lights came again. A couple of listening tests took some more time and at around 11, I went to bed.

Cheers!!!

Canafused

2009-09-02T10:28:00.003+05:30

A year ago, I was sure about my plans. Before I write any further, I would like to admit that I am a lazy bum who does not care about deadlines - a type B as I always say. I was sure that I would start working right after college and I succeeded in doing that. While working I thought I would study (not meaning joining a college for further education but study for some tests that would lead me to apply abroad). But I was in no hurry, not even in my plans. I had a year in hand to take tests. I thought it was enough time to prepare and score good. However the test is one of the toughest - the GMAT. In retrospect, I always had enough time - always.

My Plan: Appear for GMAT in May, apply to the Universities for Fall 2010, by then I will have two years of experience as required by the Universities and fly in Fall 2010.

At first I knew I was appearing for the tests in May. I had enough time. But with a blink of an eye, May was already there. I needed at least two months' time again to study. July was the right time. But I did not notice when July was over. And when I did, I looked forward to September but I have not yet started anything. Nothing has changed according to my plan but the plan itself.

I have dropped the idea of appearing for GMAT and going for MBA, I deliberately convinced myself that MBA is little too costly if I apply as an international student. I started looking for options, in fact my friends did. They came up with the idea of applying for UK. But God knows why they changed the idea and now we have decided to look into Canada. My friends have already taken IELTS and I am in the process. We went to some consultancies seeking for advice. Everyone knows they are biased and always looking for ways to earn money rather than providing sincere advices. But still we wanted to dig in.

Now the only confusion is, there is money involved and should I burden my father to spend so much after all this? Should he be again investing so much amount just to let me go out of the country, that also not for MBA but for some post graduate course the future of which is more than uncertain. Should I believe what the consultant puked in front of us? Is there really an opportunity as he said? The best thing would be to contact someone who is already there but how?

I am thinking about it for sometime now. I think I should talk to more people before I decide.

Weird is it?

2009-08-28T16:28:00.004+05:30

We share a very strange relationship. It was around five years ago that we started to chat and it was completely accidental. I had seen a photograph where she was standing with a girl and that girl was the one I wanted to get connected to. I wanted to find that girl's email address but in vain and somehow I found hers. I believed she would lead me to that girl but unfortunately she also was of no help. From then we met online regularly. We even talked over phone but I remember nothing regarding what our conversation was like. We remained in contact only as long as six months and god knows what happened thereafter. We never met.

After four years I found her again, thanks to Facebook. We again chat almost daily provided her job does not take her to distant rural places of Nepal. We share a very strange relationship. It has been around six months again, but we do not have each others' number. We both do not ask for it. We don't talk over phone, we don't meet, we don't even get curious to look at each others' pictures. We just share things. I tell her almost everything and if by any chance I don't, she finds out through my blog.

Strange but true, we respect each other a lot. I once offered her to a movie, I was just checking on her. She said, "What if I say no?" Instantly I said that I'd cancel the offer beforehand. I have never dreamed of meeting her, or going on a date. Strangely, she added, "I respect you a lot and I have never dreamed of meeting you. I cannot". We both find it the same way.

Some relationships are just too strange but they're this important? I didn't know.

Cheers!!!

The test

2009-08-23T10:04:00.003+05:30

"This is not good", I heard his voice. "Didn't you check the rooms before? Do you expect us to stay for five days in a room without A/C?"

I could say from his look towards me that I looked embarrassed.

"No. I didn't have time to come and check the hotel rooms", I heard myself saying in a little shaky voice.

"You should have. Had you checked them you would have surely searched for another one. We have to look for another hotel, we can't stay here", he said and I could not disagree.

Dr. Qazi along with Qadri Sa'ab and Atta had arrived from Pakistan for the workshop. On the way to the hotel, Qadri Sa'ab said, "Look at the road. This road, so close to the airport gives such a bad impression to visitors".
We were going towards Gwarko from Airport and he made the comment at Koteshwor. Before I could say anything he continued, "Oh it is under construction. I hope they will make it a wonderful road".
I noticed that Qadri Sa'ab observes things very fast. "The project is being undertaken by Japanese and the world knows that Japanese work slow but they do the best job".
Qadri Sa'ab and Dr. Qazi added their personal experiences with Japanese people while we reached the hotel.
Everything was fine until Dr. Qazi noticed that the rooms did not have air conditioning. I had not imagined that such a simple thing would matter that lot.

At Himalaya, Dr. Qazi negotiated with the manager to settle in a reasonable price. Then we shifted to Himalaya where the rooms as well as their faces looked much better. After checking in and while Atta and Qadri Sa'ab freshened up, I talked to Dr. Qazi about the market and how I have planned the workshop.

Entering Dr. Qazi's room, Qadri Sa'ab handed me a gift he had brought for me. I thanked them before we headed towards Bawarchi where they were to have dinner. I did not join them for dinner left for home.

I was already an insomniac from a week ago. I was worried how Dr. Qazi and his team would react and how the workshop would be. This was my test and I was very busy for the week managing things for the workshop, inviting and confirming people. But I had a pretty good list on my hand already. Fifteen banks had already confirmed and six more were yet to confirm. I had met their expectation as far as confirmations were concerned. But still I could not bring myself to sleep.

Sunday morning I had invited them (Dr. Mashhood, Qadri Sa'ab and Atta) to office. They arrived and I introduced them to our CEO and to everyone else. After facilitating them to connect to the internet and engaging them on it, I worked on some more confirmations. I had to make sure that by the end of the day there were 20 confirmations at least. I knew it was going to happen.

Dr. Qazi did not join us for lunch, while Ashma accompanied us to the Malaysian restaurant at Bhanimandal. The lunch was pretty good. Qadri Sa'ab and Atta seemed to have enjoyed it. Back at office I was able to make 22 confirmations in total. The list looked pretty convincing to both Dr. Qazi and Qadri Sa'ab. I was quite proud that their expectation had crossed.
Santosh ji was to present his software to all of us including our guests. His software seemed pretty well worked out but I'm sure integrating it to PIBAS would be a month's work.

Later in the evening, I stayed late at work and finished everything for the next day's workshop. I hoped everything would go well and more than anything I was worried how many people would turn up.

Monday was to be a rush. I reached work to collect the stuff required for the workshop. At Malla Hotel, Dr. Mashhood and his team with our CEO had already reached. I joined them in preparing everything. Every time I was worried about the number of people that would attend the workshop. I had asked Rajani to confirm everyone from the office.

"I'll catch you if 20 people don't arrive", Dr. Qazi threatened me jokingly.

"In that case I'll have to run after the invitees", I giggled.

Rajani said many of them were out of reach. I was nervous as the clock hit 2 p.m. Invitees started to enter the hall. I was at the door greeting them and registering their names.

At three I stopped expecting. I looked at the registration. Only 10 banks. I looked at Dr. Mashhood and he said, "This is what happens and it is normal to have 50 percent of the invitees". I took the phone and started calling people. Some said they were busy while others that they were not feeling well. I knew that I was wasting my time calling them.

The workshop ended at 6 and we packed up. Tired as we all were, we all headed home.

I had to make appointments with the attendees for the next two days. I was still worried but determined that I would not disappoint myself again. Tuesday I worked hard arranging appointments and managing the time table. Finally I came up with three back to back appointments. We should be pack till evening I thought to myself. And I was right in thinking so. We were busy till the evening with some genuine prospects of entering the market.

In meetings, I would listen to Qadri Sa'ab. He exactly knew what he had to say and that he had a very strong vision. I found that Qadri Sa'ab only committed what he could do. He never talked a marketing language. I could learn a lot from that man and most of all, I could learn honesty from him. He would never forget to mention that he believed that poverty can be reduced through IT. Qadri Sa'ab is an old man. You cannot imagine a person that age to be fit to travel anywhere around the world and work for 18 hours a day. He has a Canadian passport and his family is in Canada, all settled. But he came back to Pakistan to work for his country. Later he realized that every developing nation should be catered as far as possible. His age, his status and his motivation justifies his will towards catering developing nation.

The next day was a similar one. I had arranged three appointments again and we were busy for the day again. Dr. Qazi had planned for sightseeing but I screwed it all.

"Aren't you going to let us take a tour around outskirts of your city?", he said in a jocular voice.

We headed from one bank to other with no time even for lunch. These appointments were also good ones. I was sure they found a very high potential market in Nepal. Later in the evening, we were having dinner together. I called Mom, not to prepare meal for me however I was going home to change. The formal attire that I was in for three continuous days had already made me sick. At 8 I reached Bawarchi. It was the time we relaxed and cracked jokes. I sensed a feeling of relief in the end.

Thursday was leaving time. I bade farewell to the team at the airport. All of them hugged me at the airport. It is a Muslim custom that they hug while departing. Back at office I analyzed their stay. I could not yet figure out how did they find their trip and were their expectations met.

I still have lot to do, a lot more things that should be done if we are to find some customers. I've heard hard work pays. Let us hope for the best.

Cheers!!!

Here and there

2009-08-11T21:52:00.008+05:30

Continuing with my busy schedule, I visited Sunrise Bank in the morning. I still had some more invitations to print at office. As soon as I was done with them, I headed towards NMB where I met Pranay. After having quite a long chit chat I realized that I was disturbing him. So I bade him goodbye to head towards NB. At NB, I found that the two invitations were worthless, because those people had already left the organization. I called Suman.

He came out of office and later Caeser called him. I wanted to meet Caeser, it was quite a long time since we sat for tete a tete. But Suman had a better idea of taking me in. It was very strange to be there again. The construction had changed the door. But entering from back was easier for me as I didn't want to face many people. Though I hadn't spent more than 2 months there as an employee, it was such a home to me. I have always remembered the place after I left and at times regretted for having left what I longed to do always.

Soon Anurag dai appeared. It was nice to see him again with the smile on his face. I could see that he was happy to see me after a long time. It was that place where I had last met him to announce my resignation. I remember opposite to my expectation how flatly he had reacted and left. I cannot say if he ever thought I was important or if he really wanted me to stay. But he did not react, he just took it as I said as though I had told him that earth was round.

But Suman always tells me that they (he and Anurag dai) talk about me more often. And that Anurag dai at times praises my writing and attitude. Be it true or not, I could see that he was happy to see me again. We talked about the corporate quiz that I am taking part in. It is being organized by The Boss. A while later Narayan joined and then Sagar dai (it wasn't planned though). There was our complete Editorial Team (Nilima Didi is on leave). We used to be the Editorial team of The Boss. It was such a great feeling to be there after such a long time to have Reena didi's cup of tea. Later Reena didi came out to say Hello. "Mottayechhau", was what she said. Yes I have grown fat, fatter than ever.

It was around four when I left for ILFCO. Thereafter I had to be at Clean Energy, Sitapaila. On the way at Rabi Bhawan, a huge downpour stopped me. I took shelter at the Bajaj showroom window shopping the bikes. Around twenty minutes when SHE called.

"Are you angry with me?", she asked.

I said no as I wasn't. But I know my yesterday's text was quite harsh on her. I had amended it, but I know she could not skip it from her mind. She said she scored a very good marks in psychology. I congratulated her. Psychology was one of the toughest subjects for me. I was a little surprised that she scored that high on which I could not score more than 2.8. We then talked for a while and the rain stopped.

I again made my way only to reach as far as 200 meters when the rain poured again. I had no choice but to resort inside a shop. It took around half an hour this time to stop. Finally I made it to the bank and then back to office. Phew.. I was tired by then. After staying there for an hour, I headed to meet Sanjay and Madhu. We went to book the hotel for Mashhood and his crew but I could not find rooms for all of them. I will have them booked tomorrow.

Sanjay and I headed towards New Road however we had no idea where we were heading in New Road. Suddenly I remembered that Sanjay wanted to buy a Chelsea Key ring. We went to the same Poster shop but he didn't find his choice and ended up buying another one. I bought a sticker for the back of my bike. I had some work at the computer harware shop but they disappointed me. Whatever I was looking for was not possible to deliver they said.

We headed home at 8.

Blogging has kept me until 11 even though I'm too tired.

See you when I see you.

Until then

Cheers!!!

A new start

2009-08-10T21:33:00.004+05:30

It was a brand new day. I had never felt like today before. I was at work with a usual mood - a type B personality with no hurry to finish up things. I don't even rush at deadlines. But Mashhood's call was quite awakening. We have a workshop next week on Monday.

"Don't you think it is too late to send invitations?", asked Mashhood on Skype.

"A week's time to decide must be enough", I defended.

"No", he said. I was choked by his reaction. "You should be sending all those invitations by today and receive confirmation by Wednesday. You should be emailing me all those comprehensive information about the workshop by Wednesday evening. If you are not able to bring in at least 15 banks we won't fly over. We have made the reservations but I'm waiting for your email to confirm the flight. 15 banks I'm telling you as I have always told you".

'As I have always told you? Mashhood was ready to fly over if I managed only 5 appointments for him. Now he is talking about 15 banks at least', I thought to myself but I didn't protest. I already have around 20 different attendees in hand. But I was shaken. Am I getting late already? Do I need to rush? I thought I should. I printed all those personalized invitations which took me more than 4 hours. Rajeshwor Sir had fixed an appointment somewhere. I couldn't say no. I headed with Madhu. But I was all worried about sending the invitations. With the help from Surendra and Chaudhary, I managed to print everything and put into envelop, stick the names of respective invitees on the envelops and pack my bags by 4.

I was to pay my first installment of the bike. I went to Teku and cleared the amount. Then my job started at 4:30. Vibor, Prime, Kist, NIC, DCBL, Jyoti, Sanima, and Ace meaning Tripureshwor, New Road, Hanumanthan, Kamaladi, Kamaladi, Kamaladi, Nagpokhari, and Narayanchour respectively. It was already around six when I thought of stopping.

There's a rumor in the market that the petrol pumps are planning a protest. The fear of having to take two micro buses to work and other two back home took me to the petrol pump to fill the tank. Even when I had half the tank of petrol, I filled it up just to make sure that I won't have to go through hassles in this peak moment of my job.

Suman had called me in the afternoon. He urged me to send an email and then participate in the corporate quiz. I was thinking of meeting him in the evening but I had some other work to do as I met Madhu and Sanjay at the Corner Cafe which has become famous among us three. While waiting for them, I received message from her. It was very confusing so I replied hurriedly and later I thought the reply didn't make her very happy. I tried to amend it through another message later but she didn't reply meaning she must have been feeling bad about it.

At home, as I had promised in my latest post, I opened a new blog - http://nelways.blogspot.com where I will write about issues. I've just filled in one post which I suppose is not very great but I just wanted to get started.

I hope my readers will find it worth reading.

Cheers!!!

100th to my readers

2009-07-30T22:00:00.004+05:30

It was back in 2007 that I started my blog. I had no idea how I would build my blog or rather utilize it. I already owned another blog by the time I started it. But I had never thought that it would get as far as hundred posts in around two years' time most of the posts being from the latter days.

The blog itself has gone through a lot of changes in terms of what I used to write in it as well as in terms of look. I have found some wonderful readers along the way who have appreciated, criticized and improvised the blog.

I want to give all the credits to my readers - Suman, Poonam, Sushanta, Sarojani, Abhishek, Bikash, Ranjan, Shaili, HER and last but not the least to all those readers whom I personally don't know. My readers are my inspiration to write. They've always encouraged me to write and their comments, suggestions, criticisms and even silence are the incentives for me to carry on.

It has been almost two weeks since I posted anything on the blog. I will continue publishing posts regularly again. And I have a plan to come up with another blog on this occasion where I will be writing about issues (political, economic, social and general issues that affect our lives). I hope you all will help me again by reading that blog as well.

Thanking all of you once again.

Celebrating the post number 100 in the name of my readers.

Cheers!!!

Everybody hurts..................sometimes

2009-07-29T22:09:00.010+05:30

When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on.
Don't let yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes.

Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along.
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on.

Everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends.
Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand.
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on.

Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes.
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on.
Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on.
(Everybody hurts. You are not alone.)

This song is so true. I just talked to a stranger on the phone. She is a friend of my unknown caller. The unknown caller is drunk, she is dead drunk if I am not wrong. She wasn't even in a condition to talk to me as she passed the phone to her friend. This stranger is drunk too but I believe she is not as drunk as my unknown caller. I cut the phone once after talking to her a little bit. But she called again.

"Hey this is Pratikshya. I know you as I have heard a lot about you. I wanted to ask you a question", she said.

I agreed to answer.

"Do you have a girlfriend?", she asked.

I was a little annoyed. What is she up to? She is talking to me for the first time and she wants to know if i have a girlfriend? I think she is drunk and I know what it is like when you're drunk. I said I didn't have any.

"You're telling me lies. I know that you have one", she insisted.

I didn't argue and she continued.

"What makes you happy about your girlfriend?", she asked.

What sort of question is that? She further asked me what men wanted from their girls, what was the thing that I disliked about my girl, what is it that I like about her, and bla bla bla.

Her unending questions hardly allowed me to think. I just laughed and skipped her questions most of the times when suddenly she started to cry. Is she nuts? I could not make out why she was doing that. I wanted to put the phone down but my curiosity won over my arrogance.

"I just remembered my past. I thought I was talking to him. I can't control. I'm getting emotional", she said. "I can't bring myself to stay calm when I think of him."

Then I realized that I had no interest in her story. I asked her to give the phone to my unknown caller. She did as I said. I hadn't imagined that I would get such an easy exit. But it was an easy one. I talked to my unknown caller and then asked her to take care of herself. She said she would and then I hung up.

But this conversation was really a wonderful one. I just found that a person who does not know me, does not even knew that I existed until yesterday was relieved talking to me. She was depressed because of I don't know what but she was also going through hard times just like I am. She had such a pain in her voice that I could almost see it. I thought I am not the only one going through hard times. I believed that everybody hurts sometimes. R.E.M's song is so much true.

However I have started to recover. I am finding my days a little less gloomier. I have started to study. I have started looking for options and I think I will get into a college next year surely. I'm confident about that.

My conversation with HER has started to become a little interesting now. I play pranks on her and her reactions are just too innocent. I tease her all the time. Saturday we had a conversation, a long one. Her text was just too simple but I made it complicated and told her that I wanted to end it all right here. I think she was shocked to read that. Later she called me but still I was in no mood to talk to her. She sent me a text and that did the trick. Later in the evening she called me and I puked everything that bothered me and that I disliked. She kept listening to me partly because I was speaking a lot and partly because she was in front of her parents. But I had to tell her everything to relax myself. I don't know how many times in the future are we going to go through this.

Since then, we have been talking more frequently. Once I teased her saying that I was going to sasurali and I think she was jealous. She always tries to say that it is not jealousy even when she inquires about my unknown caller almost everyday. But I'm not a fool not to understand that simple thing. I've started flirting and so has she. We both are unsure what's happening. But both are surely finding it better - better than the past.

Today, I had given my bike for servicing. Sanjay suggested we go through a shortcut from Sanepa. I agreed. But the traffic police had a checkpost built out of nowhere. One of them asked me for license. I produced it. And then he asked for bill book. I told I didn't have it. He immediately seized my license and handed me a chit. I have to be at the station tomorrow to fetch it back. I was so annoyed, I would have broken his nose. But we are bloody civilians.

Later in the evening, Sanjay me and Madhu went to NB Handicraft and then to Naxal to have bhutan chiura. Later we returned home.

Shhh........

2009-07-27T15:29:00.004+05:30

There are times in life when you don't want to be yourself. You look at people and find them happy even when you know that they're living a life way below your standard. You find everything unpleasant and you wish you could be somewhere else far from your acquaintances, far from the life that you've been living.

It is not the first time I have felt this way. It has been quite a time that I'm depressed, finding everything against myself. I look at things, I see myself somewhere else wondering what would I be doing had I taken a single step differently in the past. But spade is a spade. I have to live what I am. I have to accept the reality. But accepting the reality is just so difficult at times. Maybe it is easy to advise people, maybe it is not this difficult to pass this situation, just maybe.

I work but I think I'm overpaid, I have degrees but I feel they're overrated, I have desires and I know they're just unachievable and last but not the least, I have life that is just so lifeless. I remember when I used to be so jolly a person, I used to be the master of every game and I had a clear vision and ability to do whatever I wanted. I used to drive my life the way I wanted to. Suddenly the world has turned upside down. Maybe I have started to understand that the world that I thought I would conquer was just too big. I have understood that I am just a small pebble in a huge desert, and a strong wind can blow me anytime and take me anywhere opposite to my wish. I am a small fish in the ocean with sharks and whales by my side. Not that I care for those sharks and whales but I'm a prey to them and they can feed on me anytime.

People had so much hope, they had belief that I would do something in life. Everyone believed that I was special, I have always been special to them and they've always made me believe that I am special. I trusted them and they trusted me. Every single thing I did was special, I was like a magician making them amused every time with simple tricks. Every new people I met, they found me fascinating. Every job I took, people thought it would be perfect, every picture I drew was simply perceptive, every phrase I wrote was an epic. But in reality no job was perfect, no picture could be perceived to be an eye catcher, no phrase was a poem. I am a movie with a great teaser but a boring storyline, bad screenplay and worst cinematography. I'm a book that interests people only until the first chapter. I am not what people think I am.

Monday

After a night long heavy rainfall, there was no sign that the pouring would stop. But the rain was not going to bring a holiday for me. With a raincoat on, I hit the road. Kathmandu is hell of a place. Simply nothing is on its place. The drainage is so poor that I could barely see the road. The pool of water had me confused a lot of times wondering if it was a big hole. To worsen the situation, the garbage had not been lifted for a week. The rain had scattered the heaps of garbage all over and at times I had to twist and turn to avoid hitting them. The rain was heavy, and it got heavier as I drove. At Kupondole, it was almost an illusion, I thought I was driving through a river. The direction of the water flow was an illusion. I thought I was going in the wrong direction. It was funny.

At work, I had to receive some emails and then decide. But the emails confused me even more.

"I have called you to scold you. You don't even bother to give a missed call. I just wanted to say that", she screamed over the phone.

I didn't even bother to make excuses but grinned over her. We hung up without talking much.

Work was a very normal day except that I had to stay barefooted all day due to the drenched shoes and socks. It was great to walk around barefooted as though I was at home.

At home, in the evening, I hit the bed quite early.

Unparalleled

2009-07-25T21:17:00.002+05:30

Thursday

Had to take Mom to the hospital for the follow up. A senior doctor this time. All I could do was make the appointment but I could not accompany her this time either. Work is getting a little stricter as rules are being regulated a little strictly. I had to reach office at 9:30.

As soon as I reached, I received a call from NMC. The project had to be completed two months ago but due to internal problems at work, it has prolonged and not yet completed. "Can you be here tomorrow at 12:30", the voice from the other side. I said I would. I had a feeling that they'd put me through a session of discussion where I'd have nothing to say but apologize.

My days have become boring. I was never this lifeless. I have nothing that excites me. I just have to wake up to be at work and then back home to have dinner. I don't study, haven't thought how will I go to a college next year. I have not taken tests and not even started preparing for them. I don't know what I am going to do. My Dad will kill me if I stay here for another year.

Friday

I went for a walk in the morning. Long time since I took a walk. I met Anil at the park. We walked home together.

Casual wear at work, a little jolly environment, a heavy heart as I was to be at NMC, a project to be handled.

There was a person who wanted to visit me. I had to leave the office at 12 for NMC but this person wouldn't arrive on time. I was getting late so I left him to talk with development team. Me and Madhu made our way to NMC. It was not according to what I had thought. They were cool not to have shouted at me. I had some serious excuses and they trusted me. Three weeks' time is what I have asked them for.

I bought some clothes for myself.

In the evening met friends. We had amazing time discussing our future. We are all worried and more than me those three lads were tensed.

"At least you are working. We have full 24 hours a day to worry about future", Bikash said. I thought that was true. At least I didn't have to think about it all at work.

We talked for some time and then headed home.

Saturday

I was too tired to wake up to go neither for the rally, nor for a walk. I slept until 8 and then woke up to bring Aadi home.

Aadi just wanted the bike ride and was excited to come here on the bike. As soon as he was here and we finished the meal, he wanted to go back home. However I was able to delay by giving him some chocolates and making him watch his favorite Hari Bahadur.

After I dropped him home, I went to Baneshwor for the gathering. I was not feeling very great and didn't want to attend the gathering that very much. But still I thought it was important. I didn't find any familiar faces for half an hour and because of the sun and a little ill health, I returned home. Swasti called me later. Had I known she would make it, I would have stayed.

Slept for a while at home. Continued reading a book. Then after dinner, I've been blogging.

Cheers!!!

Party

2009-07-23T11:16:00.003+05:30

"Get up babu! You can't sleep during eclipse", my Mom woke me up. From the corner of my eyes I gave her a look and wanted to turn to the other side. But she would not let me do so. I looked at my watch. It was only 5:15. I hadn't seen this time of day for years. I looked through window and it was bright outside. I obeyed her.

"Can't we even drink water?", I asked mom.

"No!", she exclaimed. "Not this morning until around nine. You can manage that."

I thought I could. There was nothing to do but to watch the Indian news channels to see the live cover of the eclipse. The Indians need nothing to get excited and this time it was an eclipse that would put some part of India in darkness for six minutes. It was the eclipse of its kind after around 360 years and it will take 130 years again to happen. Lucky are we? I watched the cover in the TV and as the eclipse started and made its progress, my room started getting darker. I wanted to see the eclipse but the sky was full of clouds and I knew I didn't have any device to protect my eyes. So I dropped the idea. I took some photographs without looking at the sky but they were all hopeless.

After the eclipse was over, mom prepared meal and after taking it, I headed towards office. It was around 11 when I reached. There was a news that we were going to have a party in the evening. I was excited. Narendra dai from NB visited to clarify his confusions. I helped him through the difficulty which took most of my time the whole day.

She called me. She had read the blog and was excited to read what my unknown caller had said. After a while we hung up.

Thereafter, we all headed towards Cube Club to attend the party. The party was good enough to get drunk and enjoy the dance. After having drunk enough, we went to the floor and danced. At around 10:30 we left for home.

Cheers!!!

Tired..........was I?

2009-07-22T12:09:00.003+05:30

Tuesday started off with me waking up late. I thought I wanted to sleep more but it was already eight in the morning. I continued with the article for Samriddhi, I thought it is not getting that good. But I believed I could make it better.

At work, I had some emails to send. I chatted with Mashhood about the workshop. I took his advice and then again continued with writing emails and preparing an invitation letter for the workshop.

Later in the evening, I had to be at NB Handicraft. Me and Sanjay headed towards Patandhoka. We solved the problems and then Narendra dai gifted two rings for us both. My old friend called me. She wanted to make sure that I was home. I said I'd be there in half an hour. But later she dismissed the idea of visiting me as it was already late.

At home, Mom had already prepared meal as there was a saying that we could not eat after 8 because of the forthcoming eclipse. But Dad hadn't arrived. I took the meal whatsoever as I was feeling hungry.

I carried on with the article that I was writing.

The lights went off shortly after Dad arrived. I thought I was feeling very sleepy. At around 9 I hit the bed.

Cheers!!!

Four days

2009-07-20T20:43:00.004+05:30

I have not written for four straight days.

Friday

I've forgotten much about Friday but all I remember is Abhishek had visited me at the office in a grimly look. He looked as though he would fall sick. We had lunch together at Tibetan and then he went with a promise that we would meet in the evening.

In the evening, me Abhishek and Bikash met while Sushanta joined us a little later. We planned for the Saturday. We were going to Dakshinakali and with that plan we departed. After an hour Abhishek called me.

"Yaar, I think I'm going to fall sick, I think I won't be able to make it tomorrow", he said over the phone.

"That's fine. I think I have to receive thulo mom and bring her home. I would have managed to make it to the trip but that's fine. We'll go next week", I said.

"No no. You guys continue with the plan. We'll make it to somewhere else later".

A trip without Abhishek was unthinkable. I managed to convince him that we would go sometime later and then called everyone else canceling the plan.

Saturday

Early in the morning, I went to fetch thulo mom home. Then at home I was busy cleaning my room putting things at places. I knew it was going to be a mess the next day, however I was in mood.

Later in the afternoon after her show, she called me.

"Sunana. Are you free? Can you come to meet me? If you don't have time then come for just half an hour. Please", she said as though something really important had popped up.

I tried to deny but she insisted.

"Okay it will take half an hour", I said.

"Half an hour?", she exclaimed as if I had asked for 6 months' time.

"Okay I'll be there as soon as possible". I hung up and headed towards her studio.

We went to Basantapur. Basantapur is not very interesting place however I bought a key ring for myself. Then we headed towards Pulchowk where we stayed for a couple of hours talking and left her home.

On the way I got stopped by the rain thrice after which I thought of not waiting for the rain to stop and go home drenched. At home I watched TV for a while and then slept a little early as I was tired.

Sunday

I didn't want to go to work. But I had to. On the way, I dropped thulo mom home and then made my way towards office. Robin Dai sent me a text urging me to ask those two interested interns to meet him at Samriddhi in the afternoon. From office I called Kripesh to be at Samriddhi without failure.

Nothing much to mention about the day.

The evening was pretty good. Sanjay wanted to buy the keyring at Basantapur after he saw mine. Me, Sanjay and Madhu made our way towards Basantapur. Sanjay is a fan of Chelsea but he didn't get a nice one. So he ended up buying a cup which was good indeed. I ended up buying a bag for myself and then we had a samosa each at tip top and then made our way towards home.

Later I met Kripesh and asked him if his internship was approved. He said it was. We discussed much about the campaign and I gave him a little idea on what he could do further.

At home there was nothing much to do. I think I ended up surfing the net and then went to sleep pretty early.

Monday

I wanted to make sure that Mom was getting better. She had been complaining that she is getting dizzy and I could see that her eyes were getting red.

I woke up early to go to Gangalal Hospital to buy a ticket. At nine I returned with the ticket. Mom was to be at the hospital at 11 and I couldn't accompany her.

At work, this day too, I didn't do much, but some progress on research was made.

Evening was great again. Me, Sanjay and Madhu again headed towards Teku to put some accessories on our bikes. We bought those and then fitted them. Madhu went home with a friend and Sanjay and I waited for those accessories to be put on the bike. Then we headed towards home.

Swasti asked me to write an article. I started it but don't think it is that good. I'm still working on it.

Called her. We had nothing to talk so I hung up early.

I was quite amazed to meet my old friend (that I talk about) online. She sent me some photographs that she had taken in that party. Later she said she wanted to ask something and I had a feeling that it was serious. But she dismissed it saying that the conversation would get long and she had to go for dinner.

After a while, lights went out and I hit the bed.

Lazy

2009-07-16T21:58:00.002+05:30

No work is equivalent to laziness. That is what happened to me today. I didn't have much work to do.

I watched my clock when I woke up it was already 8 and I wanted to sleep 3 hours more. But I had to wake up to be ready for the office. At work, I am workless these days because of the busy schedule of banks.

Of all the things, I spent my time by reading Sardar jokes on the internet. I had not imagined this day in my life ever.

It is the first day of Shrawan, a festive to be appropriate. Di, Bhena and Aadi were to come. I went to pick Di and Aadi as Bhena said he was busy. We had fun in the evening as Mom had prepared a lot variety of dishes. Aadi loves fish therefore I was busy feeding him for a while. At around 9 they left.

I am finding myself too tired and want to hit the bed as soon as possible.

Till next time.

Ciao.

Wednesday - a normal one

2009-07-15T21:54:00.010+05:30

I had to take Mom to the hospital but today I was getting late and I have lost the liberty of attending late at work. So I asked her to go alone and headed towards office. I don't have much to do at work as well. Mashhood deferred the workshop until the mid of next month that has given me a little time to breathe.

I wanted to try wordpress as well. I signed up and created a blog there. But I find blogger more easier interface than wordpress however wp is better in terms of features. But the user compatibility is higher in blogger. I have started an issue on that blog. I think I will continue with it but before that I will have to give it a shape.

"I am with a friend", she said. I didn't care who the friend was. I wanted to hang up because I thought she must be busy. But she insisted I didn't so we talked a little. And then she wanted to hang up. I agreed.

At work, I continued with the new blog. I tried different things on it. I tried some fancy stuffs, some weird color combination, this and that font, and many more. I think I ended up with the most simple one.

"We're in front of USEF. We want you to be at Khaja ghar right now", Sushanta ordered on the phone. It was only 4:15. How could I get out of the office at that time? But I said I would. I took my bag, the keys and grabbed my phone after shutting down my system. Without saying a word to the boss, I went out and then to Khaja ghar. I don't know what is he going to do to me tomorrow. I hope he doesn't fire me for such a simple sin. I'm sure he won't.

I gave them treat at Khaja ghar. I was lucky that they were not in mood to drink.

Dad had told me to bring some fish home. Me and Abhishek headed towards Baneshwor. My Dad believes that the fish from Baneshwor is great. At home I inquired about what doc had said to Mom. She said the pressure has not been significantly controlled. He has added some more doses and I think I need to take her to Dr. Bhagwan Koirala now.

Called her. We talked about our day. We both had pretty normal day.

"Hey you changed the layout of your blog", she exclaimed.

"Yeah. I think black was depressing. I find this new look a little lively. Which one do you like? Black or this new one?", I asked.

"I think I was adapted to the black one. I used to get deep lost in it. But I think the new look has changed that", she commented.

"It might be because of other reasons as well", I teased her.

She said it might be true.

"I think I will not revert it back to black. I'm fed up of that depressing color"

"How about your unknown caller?", she asked.

"She hasn't called me. She is out of valley for her passport. She says she is going to Melbourne", I explained.

"Oh okay! I hope she gets the visa soon and flies away", she said. "At first I thought she was a good girl. But I don't like her these days."

"It must be because I write negative feelings about her", I tried to justify her anger.

"You always have had negative feelings for her. I used to like her despite that before", she said.

I thought that was true. I couldn't find the reason behind her changed attitude towards the unknown caller.

"Why does she have to call someone she doesn't know", she said in a frustrating voice.

"She might as well know me", I said in a teasing tone. She didn't say anything.

She brought the topic of my meeting with Dr. Hilton. I was explaining but she didn't listen and started another stupid topic that I don't remember. I got pissed because of that. She never listens to me unlike the way I listen to her every little thing. I have to talk only those things that she wants to listen. One of the reasons why I find our conversation dull.

She hung up in a little depressed tone. I had a feeling that she felt bad.

I went to help Mom in the kitchen. Sova called me in between.

"I'm so sorry, I couldn't call you", I apologized.

"You have really become busy. That's good", she said.

"When are you leaving?", I asked. She had returned from America for a month. I think a month has gone by.

"Not sure. I think I will fix the date and go soon", she replied.

"Why don't you marry me before that? And take me with you on a dependent visa", I teased her.

"I happily would. But my visa doesn't allow my husband to go. If I only had a H1 visa", she said jokingly. We both laughed.

We talked for a while and I had to hang up because of HER call. I told Sova that I'd call her later and took her call.

"Did I talk rudely to you?", she asked. I didn't feel that she was rude or anything.

I said no and she explained that she is a little depressed these days and asked me not to mind her.

"Not at all", I said. I know she thinks too much making simple things very complicated.

"Even I'm losing my temper easily these days. That's why I might find you rude", I wanted to make her feel better.

"I'm talking about me", she blurted in a harsh tone. She sounded very selfish at that moment.

I thought that was okay. I apologized for having talked about the short temper that I have grown lately.

She hung up asking me to consider her rudeness for a while. I said I would.

Had dinner after Mom finished frying the fish. I regretted for not helping her. But after dinner I helped her with the dishes.

The lights had not yet come. I opened my laptop and then I've been sitting here since then. The lights came and I've been still writing about my day.

Okay buddies. Till tomorrow.

Cheers!!!

Interesting

2009-07-14T20:31:00.004+05:30

I informed at office that I'd be late. I was going to Hotel Mountain to attend the meeting with Dr. Hilton Root along with the core group of Samriddhi. I reached there on time. As I entered the hall, I saw Arpita talking to an elderly looking tall man with the spectacles on. So, he was Dr. Hilton. Aadi called me and I thought he's got a holiday, thanks to the strike at school. I saw that Robin Dai was briefing about the meeting to everyone outside in the balcony. I walked up to him.

"I was seriously looking forward to your arrival Neelam. Thanks for coming. We wills start the meeting soon. I was briefing these guys about the meeting", he said.

I saw that apart from Samriddhi's core team, there were young people who were actively involved in public policy someone being the president of an informal student's network, the other from YI. Apart from them I saw that Lochan Rizal had come. I produced my hands and his look suggested that he found my face familiar.

"You must have forgotten but we have already met", I wanted to clear his confusion. "We met quite before you came to the mainstream music. We had met at Vanasthali once with Nabin K Bhattarai, Pranil, Girish, remember?"

"Oh yeah. I remember. We had taken some snaps as well right?", he recognized my face now.

Thereafter we talked about each others' whereabouts. He said he just returned to Nepal. He will remain here. I soon found that he has sung a song for our new campaign from Samriddhi. He received a call and he directed someone to come to the fourth floor. I had a feeling that it was Ranav from his conversation. I was not surprised because Ranav is also a musician, he is a friend of mine. We went for the meeting after Ranav's arrival.

The meeting was pretty good from Samriddhi's perspective. I had nothing much to ask the professor however his story gave me much clarity regarding how both thoughts and perspectives change according to the need.

After the meeting I had to head towards office. But the team was heading to TU. So I dropped Govinda at TU and then headed towards office.

At office there was nothing much to do because it is the year end time. So I just made changes on my blog. Headed home. But met Abhishek and Bikash for a while.

Came home to have dinner.

Suman gave me a call. We talked about his exams. He said he wished he didn't have to write. It was a rejuvenating conversation for us both. We always have a lot to share even if we talk frequently. We hung up after quite long talk.

I'm talking to Shaili and Nirakar. Shaili and I are talking about my blog and Nirakar is talking about our new campaign.

Simultaneously I'm trying to finish this post.

Until Tomorrow

Cheers!!!

Unloaded

2009-07-13T20:46:00.006+05:30

The evening

I had guessed it right.

"Why does this always happen to me?", she said.

"It has not happened to you this time. Not this time", I assured her. "I seriously don't feel that way. I really don't have feelings for you. I always wanted to tell you and have hinted you a lot of times", I said. "I don't find the chemistry between us. We cannot be life partners not according to what we have been to each other till now. We don't have it between us to fall for each other. I know you haven't fallen for me, just like I haven't fallen for you. I just wanted to make sure that you don't feel for me and I'm glad that you don't".

NO I was not talking to the unknown caller. I was talking to HER.

I have always hidden one thing while I write my blog. I have not written that we don't have it in us to be in relationship. I don't find our relationship interesting. We cannot be partners, we cannot enjoy being with each other.

"I was clear about my intentions when I started it all. At that time I wanted you as a girlfriend and I thought we could make a great couple. But as we started talking and meeting each other, I gradually found that you were not the special one for me. I tried to find those feelings in my heart but my heart always said no. It is important for us to be clear about it", I further explained.

I spoke non stop for around half an hour. She said she didn't believe me. She made sure if I was not telling lies. I said it was the flattest truth that I have ever spoken.

We both had a burden on our shoulders about it. I got a chance to unload it. I'm glad that I did. I hope that we will remain the same from now on. I hope she finds someone and I'll hook up with someone else. I always had a burden that she would get deceived if I considered any other girl. But now that I've told her and she expressed a feeling of disinterest, I feel as free as a bird.

The day

I had to go to the American Embassy today to inquire about Mom's visa. But they called me only after two. I went to the hospital to fetch her reports. I showed it to the doc, he said she's got urine infection as well. He scribbled a medicine for her. I bought it and brought it to her at home.

Then I went to Nepal Rastra Bank and met the deputy director of the supervision department. A good meeting overall. At NIC I couldn't meet the IT head. I left the brochure for him and went to office. A couple of calls before I received continuous missed calls from her. I called her. We had a serious discussion yesterday but it was incomplete. She wanted me to clear things up. I couldn't talk such thing from office. I told her I couldn't but that pissed her off. She hung up angrily. I sent her a text clarifying why I couldn't call her. I hoped she understood.

Then I was not in mood to work. Di called me. She was near around Jawalakhel. She called me for lunch at Makoo. I went to meet her. We had lunch and Bhena came to pick her up. I went to office. Not having mood to work, I left office right on time. Abhishek said we were not meeting today and that was good for me. I came home to call her. The conversation went very long. I was relieved in the end.

Robin Dai called me.

"Neelam, Arpita said she has already invited you but I think it is important to give you a call myself", he said. I felt honored to listen to those words from Robin Dai. "What I wanted to say is. The meeting with Dr. Hilton tomorrow is exclusively with the core team of Samriddhi. Only two or three outsiders have been invited and you are one of them"

I couldn't believe my ears. How could I deny such an invitation. I wouldn't have denied it had it been an all-invited program. I was honored and happy. I had never thought that they have looked at me as someone who is capable of having a say in such a big issue they've put forward. I will be doing my best to meet their expectation. I will be there tomorrow at any cost.

I thanked Robin Dai and we hung up.

Later I received a call from the IT head of NIC bank. He apologized for not being able to meet me in the afternoon. I said it was understandable at this time of year when banks have a really hectic schedule due to year-closing. He said we could meet sometime next week and I said I would be glad. We hung up with greetings.

I watched TV for a while. Then I am here surfing the internet. The lights have went off and these flying ants are sticking on the screen of my laptop. I have no idea where have they come from.

I will wrap it up here and close the laptop. There are around 20 ants walking on the screen. I need to shut this thing up.

Till tomorrow.

Cheers!!!

A long unending road

2009-07-12T21:39:00.005+05:30

It rained all day. I was soaked almost the whole day. En route office, I thought the rain was not that heavy, but as I drove a little far, this consistent mild looking rain was a destroyer. I was soaked completely when I reached office.

I had an appointment at Baluwatar. The rain had stopped. I kicked the road. The meeting was pretty good. I came home as I was nearby. I watched TV for a while when my mom prepared lunch for me. It felt different to eat at home during a working day. Then I again headed towards office. On the way, the rain poured again. I didn't want to stop. I carried on and reached office fully drenched again. At work finished some reports and then went to Teku to take the number plate and other documents.

Abhishek had called me at Maharajgunj. While waiting for their class to finish, I was window shopping at Namaste. I had seriously thought of buying a shirt but later decided not to. Surprisingly Abhishek and Bikash found me where I was without giving a call. We went to meet Sushanta at Chappal Karkhana. After a long time we talked about football. The transfer market is really getting interesting.

At around 8 I came back home. She had urged me to call her. She is getting serious about yesterday's topic. I think there is nothing to be so serious about it. It was a simple question and I think she's making it complicated. I think she will sort it out by tomorrow.

I'll be waiting

Till tomorrow I'll again be walking through this unending road. I'll again be sleeping on the bed of nails. I'll again be discovering the same route of life.

Cheers!!!

Complicated

2009-07-11T21:54:00.003+05:30

"Mama, come over to pick me up, I want to drive your new bike", Aadi my four year old bhanja called me early in the morning. I want to drive your new bike. He meant it as much as he said. He is really fond of bikes and he knows every little trick about driving a bike and performs those that he can.

At home I took care of him as Di hadn't come. He is such a lovely kid to be with. You never feel that you're with a four year old kid. He talks so well about everything that I keep listening to his unending talks. He doesn't stay at a place, but never destroys things around. I see kids of his age very destructive but he is very disciplined playful kid. I just love him.

We hit the bed at 11 as his favorite Hari Bahadur (Hari Bansha Acharya, he calls him Hari bahadur) was on the TV. I expected him to fall asleep. He watched the show without blinking his eyes.

"Did you watch it yesterday mama?", he asked.

I said no.

"Even I didn't watch it. Ma ta bhusukkai nidayechhu", he said and I thought his tone was so special.

There was another of his favorite movies on another channel - Bhoothnath. He watched it but fell asleep this time.

I watched HER show. It was pretty good. I think they present it more nicely when there is no guest around. Maybe because they get to talk more.

I was to bring some fruits for Dharmakala auntie. Her father in law died this week and she is under the rules of rituals.

At 2:30 I went to meet her. She wanted to go to Basantapur but I thought it wasn't a great idea. I was driving aimlessly and the rain stopped us at Tripureshwor to head towards UWTC again. At the top, on the couch, she didn't like the place very much. In about an hour there were two calls from her home. I thought she had to go. The second call troubled her.

"My parents are so silly. They fear that I'll get kidnapped", she said.

"Oh that's a nice concern", I took her parents' side.

"But these days, guys are getting more kidnapped than girls", she giggled.

"Yeah! I think my parents should get worried instead", I said and we both laughed.

It was raining. "If I get ill, I'll kill you", I teased her and she laughed.

On the way she was worried as her mother had screamed at her. I know that feeling. I dropped her at Koteshwor and then came back while I thought of giving Abhishek a call.

"It's raining and I have no idea where my raincoat is", he said.

I thought it wasn't a great idea at that time of day. It was raining and wasn't very interesting day for us to gather all of a sudden. I hung up saying that I'd head home. At airport I found that not even a single drop of water had poured from the sky. Kathmandu is a weird place.

At home, I watched TV, had some lunch again. Went to fetch some drink for Dad in the evening where I met Lachhuman Dai, Sharad Dai and Khum.

"I can't believe you've grown so fat", exclaimed Lachhuman Dai.

I grinned at his comment and we talked a little about the game that was held at Rangashala today. It was between the comic artists and politicians. The fund that was needed for the national volley ball player's kidney transplant surgery should have been enough by now was our conclusion.

At home watched TV, and had dinner. A little later I called HER.

We had a little serious talk this time and it is getting a little complicated for us both I guess. I hope we will be able to untie the knots that we haven't been able to solve till now.

On the internet I met Sushanta, Sarojani and Shaili. Sushanta and I were talking about our day. Shaili scolded me of being carefree about my career.

"You need to be slapped on the face. Won't you think about what will you do in the future? Completing Bachelors is enough for you", she wrote as I agreed to her and thought that I need some scolding seriously.

I'll be off to bed now.

Cheers!!!

Dragonflies

2009-07-10T08:20:00.004+05:30

I remember how I used to run after them. My mom used to tie the knot on my trouser and let me run onto the field. My desire to catch a host of dragonflies, collect them and keep them as my pets would drive me into the large area where all I could see was green grass. There used to be a variety of dragonflies on the field and the reds were believed to be very rare. My friends and I used tricks catching them. We used to take bottles with us and collect them in it. The one with the largest number of dragonflies in the bottle was the winner of the day. We never killed them whatsoever. We used to put grass in the bottle for them to feed. We believed they fed on grass. But they never seemed to be interested in it as they always wanted to get out of the bottle. The smaller thin ones were easy to catch. They used to be yellow with black head and their eyes extra large compared to their body. There used to be another type - we called them helicopters. They used to fly vertical at first and then make their route just like helicopters do. They were a little hard catch but easily available. There used to be a huge one of their type, we called it King Helicopter. I never got a chance to pinch it's tail. That was how we used to catch them. By pinching the tail. Red ones were Queens. They were rare and very clever. I never got hold of it partly because I had heard that the red ones bit on you if you held them.

I used to look at people working during monsoon, on the muddy farm with their legs dipped into the mud. The muddy farm smelled different. It was the taste nothing else could give, a pleasant smell that changed the environment. I used to look at them all day if it happened to be a holiday from school. The people would talk a different language - Newari. I didn't understand their language but could not stop smiling when they laughed out loud. The women were dressed alike, the typical newari dress. The children used to remain busy playing on the field with their mothers screaming at intervals. I never made friends with them. My mother told me they were different, a different breed.

"Newars drink, and they'll teach you to do that. Never make friends with them, you will spoil yourself", that was her legacy and I always obeyed her. I could not have made friends with them however, because I never thought they'd understand my language.

There used to be large farms all over. We'd have to walk almost a kilometer to find a neighbor. Roads were narrower and there were fields to play at large. Gradually, houses started to build, the fields started getting covered, roads became wider and dragonflies became rarer and rarer. As I grew up, there were lesser place to run, less fields to play, more friends to make but less time to spend, more indoor games, computer to play with, and of course a little weight gained.

I woke up with the memories of my childhood. I remembered how carefree and wonderful it was. Nothing to worry about, wandering here and there, playing aimlessly, uncovering the beauty of life. I remembered my friends who are all abroad. I found out that Newars understood my language and that they were not a different breed. I made friends with them and found that they were wonderful people. I remembered how I used to dream of growing old for freedom and realized how wrong I was to dream of this day at that time.

I was to be at Kantipath at 10. There were no bikes in the showroom. I offered a boy who worked there a thousand bucks and asked him to arrange one for me. Ridiculous. I want to spend around one and a half lakh rupees and they're not willing to sell. What a day has come, I thought to myself. The boy assured me that he'd call me in the afternoon. I called Bhena. He said that we could go to other showrooms and check. I agreed. He came to pick me up and we went to Putalisadak. They had no bikes to sell. All the bikes there were already booked. Therefore we headed towards Teku. At Teku, we had a hope that we'd get hold of one. We talked to the manager and he agreed to provide us one. We completed all the documentation and waited. Finally at 4 o' clock the bikes arrived. At 5:30 I headed home.

The unknown caller had called me thrice by then. She was excited to know that I was around Teku. She said she lived nearby. I offered her to meet me. She was nervous. I knew she wouldn't as it was all of a sudden, otherwise I wouldn't have offered at all.

Called HER in the evening. She was not leaving the show, she said.

"I think I'll come to meet you tomorrow", I said.

"Oh really? You're not kidding are you?", she exclaimed.

"I can't promise you. But if everything goes right, then I'll surely be there", I assured her.

In the evening, I went through Dad's article and it was already around 11, I went off to sleep thinking of my childhood again, thinking of the dragonflies.

Cheers!!!

Tuttday

2009-07-09T21:28:00.003+05:30

I woke up because I wasn't being able to sleep. I tried closing my eyes for thousands of times but in vain. I looked at my watch. It was only 6 in the morning. I couldn't bring myself to sleep even for a minute more. My body wanted to get out of bed. I thought I was not myself as though someone was pushing me out of bed and I wanted to kick back.

Had to take two buses to work. I was a little late. I worked out for some meetings for next week. After a couple of meetings, and lunch I went to Kantipath. The budget declaration is around the corner and the prices of vehicles are sure to rise. The pre-effect of budget was very clear on the vehicle stores. They have already started stocking the bikes. This will facilitate arbitraging to them, they buy under one taxation policy and sell under another enjoying the benefit of the new taxation policy. There is no motorbike for sale. We had to come back only to book a bike on 233rd place. If the list is to be followed, I'll get the bike in one and half months' time.

At home, called HER.

"I was a bit upset, let's not call it jealousy, but I was a little upset and angry with your unknown caller yesterday", she said. I was surprised that I took it exactly in the way she wanted me to. I didn't think that it was jealousy.

"Why?", I asked as if I didn't know why.

"I had tried to call you. But your phone was busy", she said in a sad tone.

"Oh. I think it was not only her. There was someone else who had called me", I sounded as though I supported the unknown caller because after that I thought she felt as if she offended me by saying that.

"Oh okay then", she said.

She was sounding not very lively. She is feeling ignored I know. Despite my care, I think she feels that I don't give her that very importance like in the past. I feel that she thinks I have changed. But none of these are true.

"You know I feel so lousy these days", she said.

"That's not a new thing to me. It is always that way when I'm around", I tried to tease her.

"No it is not like that. It is different. I am going through mental pressure these days", she tried to justify the difference. I think I was one of the reasons. I think I have been worrying her too much.

"You can always share your things with me. It will make you feel better", I told her. She didn't tell me anything after that and only said that it was nothing. But I thought something is troubling her. I didn't want her to be that way. I think I will be able to find that out when I meet her.

I urged her not to worry much and enjoy her time and hung up.

After dinner, the unknown caller called me. She is getting a little flirty these days.

"You know what I told my little sister when she asked who I was talking to?", she asked.

I said I didn't know.

"I told her that you were her 'huna nasakeko bhinaju'", she giggled and it was very irritating.

I didn't tell her anything but I wanted her to realize that I didn't like that.

"Why don't you stop calling me? So that your sister will not have to ask you such silly questions", I said in an angry voice.

She said sorry and that she was kidding.

"I love your voice and I never want to miss this voice", she added.

"Will you stop flirting? I'm busy", I blurted and put the phone down.

I was not enjoying her voice. I didn't want her to flirt with me. I hate the tone of her voice when she flirts. She sounds like some cheap kinda woman lacking boys in life.

After a while she called again to apologize but I didn't talk much and she hung up as her balance was finishing up.

Lights went out at 7. Had nothing to do so surfed net and since then I am staying here on this chair and my back has started paining.

Till tomorrow.

Cheers!!!

Twenesday

2009-07-09T06:25:00.004+05:30

Tuesday went silent. Nothing very special to talk about that day. I have almost forgotten about the day except that in the evening the old friend of mine visited me. I thought she had asked me for a walk on the phone. But when she arrived she changed her mind.

"I thought we were going for a walk", I told her.

"No! Let's just stay here", she said. I agreed.

We talked until my Mom called me for dinner and by then she had received three calls from her home. It was already 8. I offered her of dropping her home but she said she'd be fine. She left.

Wednesday

I needed a haircut. I had to wait this time too but I opted not to return. The barber did not do well this time. The haircut isn't very good. At home I called the purchaser of my bike. We arranged our meeting at Jawalakhel at 10:15. With Dad, I went to Jawalakhel and the person arrived half an hour late. At Satdobato, all the process of transferring the ownership was done and I took the money and headed towards office.

Called HER.

"I just read your blog", she exclaimed.

"Oh you did?", I tried to sound casual.

"Yes. And you understand so many things even if I don't tell you", she said.

"Oh do you feel that way? I don't think I've done any magic as such", I regretted for not having any other words to say.

"Yeah, you write things that I don't tell you as well. But they're so very true", she added.

I was happy that she felt that way. I had never felt that way before. May be because I had not recognized it. Or because I don't know what made her feel that way. Either way, the feeling was good. It has been long since I saw her and I thought I missed her eyes, her laziness when I'm around even though she tries not to look lousy in front of me, her excitement in little things, the awkwardness when our conversation ends suddenly, and many more. I have started to miss everything. I think I'll see her soon, not because of what she is when I meet her but because of what I am when she is with me. Someone's smiling I know.

Met Dad at New Road as we were to look for a motorbike. I had a desire of having Stunner but Dad had a reasoning. Because I won't be using it for long, and after my departure, Dad should be driving it, Stunner is not suitable for the situation. He said he would have allowed me to go for it was I staying here for long. I thought that sounds justifiable. Therefore, I think I will have to go for Shine.

At home, I was busy with the Thousand Splendid Suns. A great book to have read. I am still trying to finish the book although I started it long ago.

Went for a walk in the evening and back home for dinner when the lights went out. I continued with the book until I felt asleep.

Cheers!!!

Mundane

2009-07-07T10:48:00.003+05:30

"Is this Neelam?", I heard as I picked my phone.

I said yes.

"Can you come over to the workshop with your bike right away?", he said.

I recognized him. I had talked to him about selling the motorbike yesterday. He is pretty fast I thought. He already has someone to purchase my bike. I looked at my watch. It was 7:30. I told him I'd be there in half an hour.

I kicked off towards Tinkune. The unknown caller called me on the way. Doesn't she even care about the money she spends to call me? She calls me almost 10 times a day from morning to evening.

"Hi!", she said in a very excited tone.

"Hi. I'm on the way to Tinkune. Can you call me later?", I tried to hang up.

"Why are you going there this early?", she asked. She has to interrogate on everything even when I don't want to answer.

I put the phone down saying that I have work. Before I could finish up the work she called twice. I received one and ignored the other.

There was an old man waiting for me. He took a look at the motorbike and analysed it. He has agreed to pay me the price that I have asked for. The man lived near around my house so I offered him a ride and dropped him home at Tangal. Then went back home to have breakfast and then to hospital with Mom for the follow up. The reports were good and she is much better now.

At office, I didn't have much work but had to visit KDBL at New Road. Called her as she said the class was off.

"I read your blog and realized that whatever you've written is true indeed", she said.

"I am happy to know that", I replied. But soon I realized that she meant something else. There were two meanings that could be understood from what I had written. I understood the other. I was not happy. But it was hard to make ourselves clear what we both really meant. I had a feeling that I shouldn't have written that. But I didn't care.

After lunch I headed towards New Road. Had to wait quite long to hold the meeting. The meeting was good.

I called Abhishek. He was still at home. He had some work to finish. He confirmed where Sushanta and Bikash were and told me to be at Khaja Ghar. I reached there but quite early so I headed home to change. I came back to meet them. We had lunch, after a long time. We all hadn't met together at one place after Bikash's sister's wedding. Quite long time indeed. Sushanta had to go early. We left after having khaja set, towards home.

Called HER.

"I'm going home walking", she said. "I love walking in the rain", I have heard her say that many times. I like rain as well. Specially when you have someone beside you when you walk. "Suna na.. We have planned to celebrate Teacher's day tomorrow".

"Wow that's great", I said.

"No it isn't great", she denied. "They have arranged extra classes on Saturday and I'm sure they won't allow us to spare a day in the name of Teacher's day".

"I'm sure they will. Because it is being organized all for them", I tried to justify.

"And the most pathetic thing is. I have to host it", she sounded uninterested.

"If you're saying that then what will happen to us if we are in such situations?", I wanted her to wash my surprise away. I was surprised because she hosts a live show on a national television. For her, hosting the program would be a left hand's play.

"No you didn't understand. I hate my co host. We had done it last year as well. But the situation has changed. We don't talk", she explained.

"Oh then give him a chance. Maybe you will end up being friends again. You have nothing to lose. Just go for it", I wanted her to do it because she is good at it.

She sounded as though she had no option even if she didn't want to do it.

I had to put the phone down abruptly.

She called back when she reached home. She said she understood my hanging up abruptly. I'm sure she did so I didn't explain.

Later I thought I was too tired. I watched TV after dinner and at around 8 I was already dreaming.

Cheers!!!

Workless day

2009-07-06T06:54:00.003+05:30

It took me almost three hours to write the post yesterday.

In the morning I wanted to have a haircut but had to wait at the barbershop so I opted to leave. At work I have been lazying off for long. Since I caught this flu, I have been literally not working.

I had not written for almost four days and Shaili was already concerned as she had sent me an email. So I thought of writing. While I was doing that, Suman called. He said he had come near around Jawalakhel so would make it to my office if I was free. I said I would love to meet him.

He was looking great on that suit. He had come to a wedding ceremony nearby and thought of visiting me. My friends always pay me a visit whenever they're around my office and I feel really good when they do that. We had a really great time talking. Suman really had lot to talk about as I kept listening to him. His attitude towards everything is so much justifiable. He has some reasoning power that makes me fall for whatever he says. He knows the right thing to say at the right time. After talking for a while, we went out for cold drink. We talked about each others' work. I told him how I had enjoyed working with him. I really feel that I should have never left. I feel like my first choice of work was always my first job. Here, I earn way high than what I would've earned by working there. But still, I would be satisfied with that work. It is just the feeling that I have and it could be wrong as well. I must have had complaints had I stayed there this long. It's just a feeling.

I continued with writing on the blog after Suman left. I finished it up when Madhu wanted me to take him to Baneshwor. I didn't have much to do at work as well. So I called Abhishek and we were meeting in half an hour at Baneshwor. I dropped Madhu at Baneshwor and then met Abhishek. I took my bike to the workshop. The 'Dai' to whom I had talked about selling the bike had gone out of valley. I talked to his brother. He said he had to talk to 'Dai' and told that he'd contact me the next day.

At Chamunda, Abhishek and I stayed for long. Long unseen faces passed us with some shaking of hands while others just passing away. Dad called me and urged me to pick him up from his office. I agreed. After a while Abhishek had to go as well. We bade goodbye to each other. I headed towards Dad's office. He was alone working as it was already late. On the way home SHE called me.

"Shall I tell you what I had heard last time? I didn't get to send you a text in the afternoon", she said.

I said no because I was with Dad and moreover there were vehicles all around so had to concentrate driving. She hung up saying that she'd call later.

At home I called HER.

"What is it?", I asked.

"Oh! I had heard something rubbish", she said.

She told me what she had heard but I hadn't uttered those words. We talked for a while when there was knock on my door so I hung up.

It was the old friend of mine whom I had met on the party on Thursday.

"How are you feeling now?", she said.

I said I was recovering while she handed me the CD that she had taken the day before. After around half an hour, she left.

There were four missed calls on my phone. It was the unknown caller. She soon called ma again.

"Hey! Check your email. I've just emailed you a picture of mine", she said.

I wanted to have a look, but she talked for some more time. It was so tiring for me. She would talk about someone who called her from Australia, about someone who commented on her figure in the afternoon, about someone who said she was photogenic, and even about someone who she didn't know. I was about to sleep when we hung up.

I looked at the picture. I have seen her somewhere. But I don't know where. It is such a familiar face to me. But I can't quite tell who.

Watched Federer vs. Roddick in the evening. Mom supported Federer and I supported Roddick. The game was really interesting and a long one. Mom went to sleep after 13-13 of the last set. I watched Federer win 16-14. Roddick had played really well but Federer was invincible.

Slept at around 12.

Cheers!!!

Lost again

2009-07-05T10:21:00.004+05:30

A couple of events occurred to me this week. I couldn't write because one day I was not in mood, another I had a party till midnight, yet other two days I got ill to remain in bed watching TV.

From Tuesday I didn't contact HER. Completely. Not even missed calls. Didn't receive her calls, didn't reply to her messages. And from then on, there was nothing except HER on my mind. There was not a single moment I could skip her thoughts. I wondered what she must be thinking and going through. I have known her as a very sensitive and vulnerable person. She is thrilled by small events and this time it was serious. 33 missed calls on my phone and I was already willing to answer. It was getting hard and hard for me to ignore her. I wished she did not try to contact me.

It continued until Wednesday when she finally caught me and it was unbearable for me to keep her that way. I still had 6 days to go but I knew I couldn't hold until that day.

"Oi!! I tried to contact you thousands of time", she said.

"I am tired", I said. "I'm tired, I cannot escape your calls now", I sounded exhausted, or so I felt.

"Why? You're tired of me?", she asked.

I said no. "I tried to remain detached from you"

"If so, then you could've told me. I would've never called you. I will never call you again", she sounded very upset.

"No honey. I was experimenting myself", I tried to convince her but she put the phone down.

I had to call her. I did. She was crying and I had a feeling that she had started crying as soon as she put the phone down.

"I'm sorry. It was just an experiment. I wanted to know how long will I be able to remain away from you and it has been so difficult since yesterday", I was talking to her while she was crying on the other side.

I called her name and she answered only to continue crying. I felt very bad. I had never felt that way before. I knew I had screwed it up. I was not sure if I could put it straight. I had a feeling that I would lose her, seriously for the first time.

"I'll let you know when I'm okay", she said. She sounded so good that if I was there beside her, I would have kissed her on her eyes and filled them with happiness.

I called her twice but she didn't answer. She answered the third. She sounded as though nothing had happened.

"Are you okay now?", I asked.

"It is not about being okay or not. It is about how bad I felt", she said. "I had thought that you lost your mobile", she added. "But you were experimenting on yourself and didn't even bother to think how I must be feeling".

"I know I screwed it all honey. But it was important. It is important for us both", I wished I didn't have to answer why was it important and luckily she didn't want to know the reason.

We hung up that day without talking too much. I was a relieved man in the end.

By the way, the unknown caller had stopped calling me.

I had a feeling that I was not going to feel very well on Thursday. I had to be at NIC bank but the meeting could not be held. Then I went to Satdobato to clear the taxes of my motorbike. I met a broker who looked very clever and I thought it was worth making him work for me for a 1000 bucks. He asked me to come back the next day and I headed towards office.

Called HER when she was on the way to college. I don't remember anything in particular except that she was eager to know if the unknown caller called me. NO she hadn't. At work I had a meeting with Mashhood. We discussed about the approach and he told me that I was wrong in revealing the prices directly to the customers. He said that it is our last weapon to be able to defeat the competitors. I thought that was okay but on the back of my mind I knew that it would be even more difficult because the first question that I have faced until now is about the price. The features that we have on the product are assumed to be available and the only thing they consider is the price. However I thought I'd do as he said.

In the evening I had a party to attend. Before going to the party, I called HER.

"You're home already?", she was surprised.

"Yeah! I have a party to attend", I told her.

We talked for quite long. I teased her for many things and flirted a little. I thought she was happy to talk and if her text was to believed, she was happy not to have lost me.

Kishor's wedding party was rejuvenating. It was nice to be with childhood friends again. Suraj, Sushil, Khum, Anil, Anil, Sameep, Brajil, Pradeep, Biraj, Milan, and many had made it to the party. I thought we are all grown up now and obviously, Khishor himself was getting married as an evidence. We had a great time at the party. I met an old friend of mine. She seemed very excited to see me. She took some photographs with me and promised to email them to me. She was getting late and left. The next morning she sent me a text message. We're starting to have conversation again.

On Friday, me and Dad went to Satdobato to clear the taxes. Everything was cleared and we were happy to have done that. Dropped Dad to his office and then back to my own. The old friend of mine whom I had met last night at the party wanted a Photoshop installation CD. I asked someone at work to ready it for me. My health was deteriorating, and was not in a condition to work. I still tried, finished some stuff but I thought it would be wise to get back home. So left for home at 4.

SHE called me.

"Hasn't your unknown caller called you yet?", she asked.

She hadn't so I said no. I wondered why is she so worried about that unknown caller. Is she feeling insecure that she would lose me? But why wouldn't she want to lose me? I'm literally no one to her. Just a friend who calls her every day and meets her in a week or two. But I really don't know if I am that close to her to start feeling insecure about me. I can't say if it is insecurity.

The old friend called me to make sure I had brought the CD. I said I had but I was not feeling well. She said that she'd visit me at home. I agreed.

We talked a lot that evening. I had a great time talking to her. In the end, the rain poured when she had to leave. I dropped her home with an umbrella and came back home.

That evening, the unknown caller called me.

"You don't even bother to call me", she complained.

I just laughed to skip the complaint.

"I don't have money now. My dad has suspected me of spending much on mobile phone and does not give me expenses", she explained the reason why she had stopped calling.

I didn't bother but I said it was bad.

"But you never call me", she said again.

I thought it was true that I didn't call her. Doesn't she deserve it? But I have no interest in calling her. I like talking but why should I encourage her to call me by calling her back? She will herself start feeling that I am not worth her friendship. I am not interested.

At home I hit the bed to wake up at intervals for meal and other unavoidable stuff. Watched Andy Roddick and Murray play the semi final of the Wimbledon. But the cable only allowed me to watch it as far as the mid of second set. I slept.

Saturday was going to be a full rest I knew. I had to sleep the whole day if I was to make it to work on Sunday. So I didn't get up for the rest of the day. I watched TV most of the day.

"Are you free today?", SHE asked over the phone.

"Comletely", I replied. I knew she wanted me to visit her after the show. "Why?", I asked.

"I was just wondering if you could come", she said in a little awkward tone.

"I'm so sorry. But I am not feeling well and want to take a complete rest", I said.

"Oh that's fine. Take care", she said, wished me good health and hung up.

I watched TV, her show, and again some other movie. When I finally got up from bed, it was five. I called HER.

Then in the evening, the unknown caller called me. We had an unending conversation. She wished me good health and finally hung up.

In the evening, I ended up watching TV again and fell asleep soon.

Cheers!!!

Mission Starts here

2009-06-30T20:46:00.004+05:30

It was not the best night's sleep. I had many things rolling on my mind. It was hard to keep myself from not waking up at intervals. I think I regretted many things. I regretted for being myself for so long.

"You look so weird today", mom said. "You're looking lousy and don't seem okay. What's the matter?", she added.

I wouldn't speak to her before in such situations. But I heard myself console her that it was nothing. Her strange look was still on the face trying to decipher the secret behind my face. I didn't want interrogation. I went back to my room.

Aadi was getting dressed for school. He is such a lovely kid. He does everything himself. I noticed him trying to solve the knot that he himself created on the shoe. I remembered when I was a kid, this was the most difficult task. Moreover the knot on the trouser of my night dress would be the most irritating one as I couldn't untie it at the peek moment. Mom helped him out with the knot as she did for me when I was young and he got all ready for school.

I just laid down on my bed for a while staring at the ceiling. The unknown caller had already called me thrice by then. I found reasons not to talk to her. I didn't want to eat. I would've taken a leave from office hadn't there been an important appointment. But before that, I had to take Mom to the hospital for another round of tests. At hospital, the technician took some blood from her hand and then called us after 6 days. I dropped Mom home and then went towards Sanima Bank.

The meeting was good. I think they will choose our product if we can play it in a very clever manner. We need to strike them with what they expect from us.

On the way towards office, SHE called. "Did you read my blog?" I asked immediately. To my relief she said no. "Don't read it now", I heard myself and realized that I just made her curious and she would try to read it as soon as possible.

I was still 15 minutes from the office. I had to change what I had written last night. I reached the office and made the changes. Called her again.

"You're lucky", she said. I tried to check it but it didn't open.

It came as a relief to me.

"I know that you won't tell me even if I want to know", she said. She is such a clever girl. But I wouldn't tell her anyways. I wouldn't have deleted it in the first place if I was telling her in the end. She completely understood that.

Besides a couple of calls from the unknown caller, a couple of my calls to the prospects kept me busy all day. Sushanta was online. He challenged me of something and I accepted the challenge. We're on a bet.

Came home, had dinner and Di wanted to go shopping at 8. Is she nuts? But there's no other way in front of her desire. We headed towards Chakrapath. She wanted to buy the shoes but we ended up with Snickers and came back home.

:)

Wrong again

2009-06-29T22:35:00.005+05:30

The invitation was for 6:30 a.m. It was Kishore's wedding, we call this wedding the starter of our generation's marriage. I was still in bed wanting to sleep more. But I had to get ready. The wedding was at Bouddha. I didn't want to miss Kishore's wedding ceremony therefore I had taken a leave at office. The unknown calls kept me from being bored. I enjoyed talking to her today.

"You know what my friend told me this morning?", the unknown caller asked me. "She said that the way and the number of times I call you, will make me fall for you soon"

"And what did you say?", I asked.

"I said NO. I said you have a girl and that I enjoy being your phone friend", she said. She thinks that way because she believes that I have a girl. It is only her belief because I myself am not sure if I have one. "But she wouldn't believe me. She has put a bet that she'd buy anything for me if we didn't end up being in relationship until two months from now".

"In that case, you are sure to win", I told her. "We won't fall for each other. Never".

Despite telling that to her, I still was not sure if I was telling the truth. It has become a routine for me to receive her calls. I have started missing her voice. But even now, I don't call her. She spends around Rs. 200 a day just to talk to me. And I don't even bother to give her missed calls. Whatever. I don't know her and it could be anyone playing prank on me. To add to that, I feel that I would be betraying HER.

All the rituals of the wedding were over and, we were back at around 4:30. I was tired so came back home to watch "The day when the world stood still". Didn't like the movie much as it was very predictable and moreover the plot wasn't very interesting.

Aadi and Di had gone for shopping. They were back and Aadi was not letting me watch the movie. However I finished it. Then played with Aadi while I had already received five calls from the unknown caller.

Called HER in the evening.

"How about your unknown caller?", she sounded jealous or so I thought. I thought she got too much bothered about the unknown caller because she is getting jealous. But that could not be the case. I was soon to find out. "She made you search for so many numbers yesterday".

"So you read my blog", I said. I had completely forgotten that I had called her in the afternoon and told her about yesterday. "Oh I had told you in the afternoon. Yeah she was getting me irritated and so I stopped", I remembered.

"How was your day?", she asked.

"Well! it was pretty boring. I was at the wedding where there were not many girls", I teased her. I thought that would do some trick on her. But it was not supposed to. "And then came back home to watch a movie", I described my day to her.

"Mine was boring too. There is nothing to tell today", she said.

After a couple of more things to talk about, I had to go for dinner and we hung up. After a while there was a text from HER on my phone. It was a typical 'I like your friendship, will you be the same forever' text.

It was at the party that I received her text and I didn't want to be there. The unknown caller wanted to talk but I didn't pick the phone up. I finished three glasses of beer and then came back home at 11 p.m. Everyone here is asleep.

Congratulations Kishore and to his family. You're lucky to have the one you've wanted.

Cheers!!!

2009-06-28T22:11:00.002+05:30

I had a raincoat under my seat until last week. It never rained until today. But as soon as I didn't have it with me, the rain had to pour. I got fully drenched when I reached office. I am sure of catching cold this time.

Today I was meeting Jhawar and Kshitiz in the evening. We hadn't met for three years I guess. Kshitiz and I are always here in Kathmandu, but to our surprise it is only when Jhawar is around that we meet. We've tried a lot of times to meet but in vain.

It was a very regular Sunday at office. But it was a little productive though.

In the evening Jhawar called me.

"Let's meet at Teku at 5:30 sharp", I directed Jhawar. "I will call Kshitiz and then get back to you again"

"Can you make it to Teku right now?", I asked Kshitiz. He was choked.

"Teku? Why the hell should we meet there?", he asked. I thought he was right.

"Jhawar has come and he wants to meet us", I said.

"Yeah he had called me but I didn't get a chance to call him back", he said. "You guys come to my place instead. That will be much easier".

I thought it was a nice idea.

I called Jhawar and suggested likewise.

At Thamel, I met Jhawar. We didn't want to be at Kshitiz's place but rather hang around Thamel. We called him there and went to a restaurant in Thamel. Three black teas, a lot of laughter, and lot of memories to reminisce.

Three cups of tea cost us 330 rupees and we were shocked to hear that. Then we finally agreed to go to Kshitiz's place after his long insist. At his place, talked to Sinky di, about our jobs and listened to Kshitiz's composition. Then we agreed for a peg each of Vodka. After again a long conversation about our past, and a number of calls on Jhawar's phone from his home, we had to leave. While walking towards the bike, someone whispered in our ears.

"Sir, do you want a lady?"

We were appalled. We said no as he asked again. We didn't bother him as we walked towards bike and moved towards home.

At home, there was the unknown call asking me to check some numbers on the internet whether someone with that number passed the SLC or not. I checked but her numbers wouldn't end so I hung up. Watched TV for a while and then writing on the blog about my day.

Was a pretty awesome day overall.

Cheers!!!

Fri-Sat

2009-06-27T21:34:00.002+05:30

Friday

Started the day with a news. Michael Jackson died at 50. Felt a little bad about it because no matter how controversial he remained in the latter part of his life, he is the legend of Pop as well as Rock and Roll. King of Pop as he is referred to as, his music is one of those I grew up listening to. May his soul rest in peace.

At work, I had an important meeting to attend. So had to prepare for it as board of directors of one of the banks were visiting. I had to arrange everything and prepare myself for the meeting. The meeting went really well. I am very hopeful from this prospect. The day remained satisfactorily productive.

After work me and Madhu went to Khichapokhari to buy fish for me and Mewa for him. We checked out People's plaza which is a newly open shopping complex at Khichapokhari itself. UWTC has spoiled me. I am starting to find every other shopping complex small and uninteresting. Then came back home to find that Dad also had brought fish for dinner. However prepared the fish myself as I always do and had dinner. Chatted with Shaili and she said she is leaving on Saturday.

Saturday

Woke up really late despite Di shouting at me to wake up for around 2 hours. Aadi had to finish his homework so, helped him out. Then after meal, Di said that she had some work at Putalisadak and wanted me to accompany her. It was HER call right before Di had confirmed the work. She was getting late for the show and I could understand (though she didn't say it) that she wished I could take her to the wardrobe and then back to the studio. But I had to go with Di so I could not offer her the ride myself. I would've done that if Di hadn't booked my time beforehand.

Di and I were on the way when she called again.

"I'm stuck in front of the studio. The rain has spoiled my dress and I have to go to wardrobe", she said.

"So?", I acted as if I didn't understand.

"Nothing", she replied. "I was wondering if you could come", she said finally.

Not that I wanted to hear that from her. I would love to offer her help but I was with Di and had to convince her to take a break.

"Okay I'll call you back in 10 minutes", I said and hung up.

I told Di that I had to go somewhere for 10 minutes while she could complete her work at Putalisadak. At first she was unwilling to let me go but I insisted and then she permitted me.

There was already a missed call from HER. I know how she can get when she is tensed. She was getting late and we had to go to UWTC at the wardrobe, check a dress and then come back to the studio. We did just that. She was panicking all the while. I knew it wasn't that worse.

After dropping her, I was at Anamnagar, where I watched her show a little. Then came back home to find mom and Aadi. I had brought Aadi a black forest because if I didn't he would get mad at me. Di and I had some stuff to complete by today (family stuff). We arranged everything and then was free at around 5.

A couple of calls from HER, the unknown caller and Sova, as she has come back from US right now.

The most ridiculous thing that happened today is the unknown caller revealed something that I wasn't expecting. I think she knows me very well. It must be someone playing prank on me. Could be friends trying to make me fool. Let's find out. Gonna be interesting anyways when I find out about it.

I had promised Jhawar that we'd meet today. But as I was a bit busy, couldn't meet him. Gave him a call in the evening and we're meeting on Sunday.

Time to sleep now.

Cheers!!!

Lost three days

2009-06-25T21:18:00.003+05:30

After the shocking experience I was literally lost for three days. Wondering what is going on in my life. Trying to fill every empty space that Mom's illness has created. Not that I'm alone, Di is helping me a lot and most of the things are done by her. But to let her do that, I should look after Aadi and at his age, it is really difficult to keep him at a place to concentrate on anything. And his unending demands are so irritating and at the same time so interesting that I can't keep myself away from him. And after he sleeps there's one thing or the other to keep me away from writing.

Yes!! Mom is recovering, but I know it will never be the same again. At least not for me. She's grown old and I cannot depend upon her for every little thing. I will change and so will the things around me. I will have to look after her rather than her looking after me. I will be the one taking care of everything now, and I am starting to realize how difficult it would have been for mom to handle everything. I know the situation is not this serious but I'm glad I am.

I called mom thrice from the office on Tuesday. Everytime she would say she is fine and not to worry.
"Mom, it is 2 o'clock. Take the white medicine and the capsule", I would remind her.
"Thank you. I was just about confused. They've prescribed so many of them, I just don't remember what to take", she would say.

I didn't work that very much on Tuesday, I was recovering to get back to myself, my routine and my normalcy. But that night I was a bit worried. May 15 was when we signed the contract. It's more than a month and there is no concrete result as far as making contacts is concerned. I have not visited many. I have prepared a huge list but list won't bring in money. I was more worried about Mashhood. It is about time for him to send another cheque but what must he be thinking? Sending money for a list? 'Wednesday would be productive', I thought.

Wednesday was going to be productive. I was determined. The day started with a meeting at Thapathali. At office, I made a number of calls and arranged a number of meetings. The day seemed quite productive as far as arranging meetings was concerned.

"I'm on my way home", she said over the phone. "And I didn't get to read your blog today".

"That's fine. But the recent post is the best if you ask me", I told her.

"Oh really? You had a bad day. How could you like this post the most", she asked.
Her question shook me. I pondered for a while. How could I like the day that gave me all sorts of tension?

"The way I've written it. I like the style of writing", I tried to justify. She said nothing.

"And what about your unknown caller?" she asked.

"Oh, she's fine", I said. I think she is a bit worried. She talks about the unknown caller a little too much, trying to make sure there's nothing fishy I guess. There is nothing fishy indeed. I am not at all diverted.

At home the unknown caller called me. I was busy with Aadi making him write. He wasn't obeying and on top of that the never ending unknown calls. I was getting irritated. I screamed at her. Knowing that she had put her loud speaker ON in front of her sisters trying to introduce me to them, I insulted her. She was hurt. But that was the fee she paid for irritating me. After a while there was a message on the cell from her. 'I was hurt. You insulted me. This is my last text', BULLSHIT as if I care.

"Why don't you come to watch football tomorrow?", Khum said as we met at a store nearby. I had gone there to buy chocolate for Aadi. Incentive for him to write.

"Oh is there a match tomorrow?", I said. "Who is playing opposite your side?"

"Three Star", he said. "It is going to be interesting, come if you have time"

I said I would and then back home.

Thursday started with me trying to convince Aadi to complete his homework but in vain. Di can only make him obey if he is in no mood. Then I was prepared for a hectic schedule. I was to pick Dad from his office to take him to Satdobato to renew the bill book and clear the taxes. But the broker gave up. He said he cannot do that because our file itself is missing. I will have to spend a week I guess.

There were couple of appointments. I offered Sanjay to watch football at Rangashala. He agreed, opposite to my expectation. He had work at Sigha durbar and me at Sitapaila. Madhu accompanied me. We went to Rangashala. As we reached Tripureshwor, the rain poured like never before. We were lucky not to get fully drenched as we reached 10 seconds early. We were dubious whether to buy the tickets or not. Sanjay was not sure whether to come or not. We waited for the rain to stop and finally it did. The game started and after a while Sanjay arrived. The game ended Three Star 3-2 NRT. We made our way back home at 6:30. At the chiya pasal, met Milan, Subodh and Nirav. Sushil joined us a little while later. He just arrived today from Bangalore to attend Kishore's wedding. We talked until 8:30 and then back home.

No unknown call until then. But she called finally. I knew this was bound to happen. I hadn't replied to her text just because I did not want to encourage her to call me again. But she wouldn't stop. She again started the same topic that I insulted her. I was so not enjoying that. She sounded very upset and I can't understand her. What does she think she is doing? A complete nautanki. I put the phone down however.

Called HER and she was almost asleep. I hung up letting her sleep.

Writing after quite a while. It has been a long one.

Cheers!!

Long Monday

2009-06-23T14:12:00.004+05:30

I heard my door open and then my mom's voice as she switched the light on. I looked at my watch. It was 1 in the morning. I realized that I had just slept an hour ago after watching Twenty20 final and that my mom had already gone to sleep by then.
"My heart is pounding and I can't sleep", she said.
As I touched her chest I started to panic. I didn't know what to do. I didn't even know where to dial for an ambulance. I couldn't think of anything but I knew I had to do something fast. I felt like crying as I put my hand on her chest again. I took mom to her bed and called Dharmakala aunty. Dharmakala aunty is a professional nurse. I called her to check mom's blood pressure. Dad woke up and we all waited for her to arrive. She came immediately as she lives in the adjacent house. I could see in her face that the pressure was too high. She asked me to have a look myself. I plugged the stethoscope in my ear and looked at the meter. It stopped at 160 first and then at 115. This was serious. She suggested me to take her to the hospital immediately. I looked at the watch once again. It was 1:15. I didn't know where would I get an ambulance. I checked on the internet and finally found a number. I called and luckily someone answered the phone.
"I'm in need of an ambulance, can you send one immediately?" I heard my nervous voice.
"I'll pass the phone to the concerned department", was what I heard from the other side and then no one answered the phone again.

I didn't know what to do. I again went to see mom and she was lying on the bed ready to lose consciousness. Then I remembered someone who is a cab driver. I had once met him somewhere and asked for his number. I immediately called him. After hundreds of rings, he answered the phone.
"Chhabi, this is Neelam. Can you come over to my place with your taxi, I need to go to the hospital" I said.
He said he recognized me and that he didn't work at night.
"But you note down a number and call this dai. Maybe he is doing night shifts", he said immediately.
I thanked him and called that number.
"Dai are you driving your taxi right now?" I asked.
To my relief, he said he was.
"Can you come over to Panchakanya school and then towards Chappalkarkhana? I'll be waiting for you in the mid way", I said and he agreed.
"I'll be there in 10 minutes", he said.
By then Kripesh had come over. He is Dharmakala auntie's son and a very good brother of mine. He joined me and mom towards the taxi and then to hospital.

On the way I could sense that mom was getting a little better as she was speaking. At hospital we took a bed in the emergency. The doc came over to check her. Scribbled a number of medicines in a paper and ticked a number of tests. Kripesh and I looked after everything and mom was looking a little brighter. There were people around with various problems moving around, some panicking while others reaching the counter to pay bills and fetch medicines. I thought everyone goes through this at one point of time or the other. I thought that it was not just us and we weren't the ones with the worst case. All the samples for test were provided.
"When will we receive the test results?", I asked Kripesh as he returned from the lab.
"They've called us back at 4", he said.
I looked at my watch, it was 2:30. I looked at Mom and she smiled at me.
"I give you all sorts of trouble, don't I?", she said.
I didn't say anything but smiled back to her.

I remembered the conversation that we had 4 hours back. I was watching cricket and she was whining about her health, her hardships and how she has been ignored all her life. I had yelled at her for thinking too much. I had told that we didn't have life, and we always have to listen either to her or dad. I told her I wanted to be free and I was not going to live with them.

I regretted for that, I regretted that I was the reason for this hypertension. I was the reason for that drum-like heartbeat. I was to blame and no one else. I felt like crying again. I looked at her. She smiled at me. She was lying there on the bed and I was massaging her feet. Time passed pretty easily than I had imagined. It was around 4 and I went over to the lab to fetch the reports.
“It is not yet ready, come after half an hour", the technician blurted.
I went back and realized that we hadn't yet gone for X-ray. Kripesh and I took her to the X-ray room and in five minutes we got the reports. I showed it to the doctor. She said she could see a patch of pneumonia on her chest. How could she catch pneumonia in this heat? I didn't panic, I was worried more for her heart. Other test results were very normal and everything looked fine to the doctor. But she suggested to take her to the Cardio section at 9 a.m and check everything up thoroughly. I agreed to her. I looked at my watch it was five a.m.

I couldn't believe that it was already bright outside. Dad called up and said that he was on the way. I called Di, and informed her. Bhena scolded me for not informing him earlier at night. I didn't want to disturb them at that time of night.
"Okay we're coming", he said.
Dad entered the room and soon Di and Bhena came as well. I was worried about Kripesh. He had college to attend in less than 4 hours. We hadn't slept. Dad told me to go home and sleep for a while. Kripesh and I went home at 6:30.

At nine, Dharmakala auntie came over to wake me up.
"I think you need to go to the hospital and describe her health history to the doc", she said.
I agreed and then went to the hospital. The doc screamed at us for being so ignorant. He said she should have started the medication years ago. Gave some tests and prescribed some medicines. We took Mom back home with a little good health.

Di took leave at office and so did I. Prepared meal, looked after mom and slept a little. Dipak dai visited us. I was still sleeping. No way I could open my eyes. However, I talked to Dipak dai, prepared him lunch and then after an hour he left. Aadi came from school shouting. Di had some shopping to do, so took her to Bhatbhateni Supermarket, Chakrapath and then came back with some fruits.

Called HER as I reached home.
"I read your blog", she said. She seemed happy to have read what I write about her.
"It was so nice. You've written very well. It was so good to remember all those things again", she opined.
I felt glad that she liked it.
"Why don't you write a book?", I heard her say and the phone got disconnected. At the same time I had some other work to do so couldn't call her again. Aadi had homework to finish from school. Di asked me to help him out. I had never realized that it was this difficult to make children write. He would write a letter and then stop for one thing or the other. My half-sleep and his disobey had started to irritate me. I yelled at him once and he bowed down to the notebook and finished the homework.

I wanted to sleep. I looked at the watch, it was only 8. Mom was to take the medicine at 10. I couldn't ask Di to stay up late as she also seemed very tired. I woke up until 10 and Mom took medicine and then slept.

Phew. It was very long day indeed.

Unforgettable Sunday

2009-06-22T19:57:00.003+05:30

Day started pretty adventurously. Maoists the mighty maoists had again blocked roads. At Putalisadak I was diverted to Sahid gate to New Road to Bhote bahal to Lagan to Kuleshwor to Balkhu to Ekantakuna. The ride was enough for my bike to break down. It would stop at intervals. Phew, it was very tiresome.

As always Sundays are boring at work. But this time it was a great day for me to remember for years. "Can you come to pick me up at around 1?" she said over the phone. "We forgot to take the pictures of the banks for the project", she added and I was sure I could manage. Luckily I had appointment at Baneshwor. I borrowed Sagun's bike and then headed to meet the one who made my day so special.

We headed towards Lazimpat. "Let's finish up with Everest Bank and then we can go back to Nabil", she suggested and I thought it was a nice idea. "You can't take pictures of banks, they suspect you as robbers, it is illegal", I teased her on the way. "Oh really? Maybe we should take permission then", she said. I knew it was rubbish however I thought it would be wise enough to take permission. Click click click!!! She urged me to click on this and click on that and I enjoyed following her instructions. Then at Nabil, Kantipath, we took some more photos before we headed towards Baneshwor.

At Hots, I took some of her photographs so that I could put it on the pic of the day. "I'm having a great time today", I blurted. "So do I, I'm loving the day", she replied. "I have to reach the college to attend accounts class so let's take our lunch a little fast", she said. We made the order but the lunch wouldn't arrive. "It is 2:37 in my watch", she said "That means my accounts class has already started so I won't be able to attend it". I was so relieved when she said that. It was Preeti's missed call that distracted her attention. "Why don't you play a prank on her?" I asked "Call her to tell her that we're far and you won't make it to the college today". She hesitantly agreed and on the phone she said as I had suggested. But in no while she said that she would reach on time and hung up. "Preeti was panicking. She has to manage everything and was shouting at me", she said.

At 3:30, she wanted to stay more. But I had to go back to office and she had to go back to college. We both unwillingly left the restaurant and I dropped her at college. We waved goodbye and then I headed back towards office.

At 5:30 I headed home. Mom was not feeling well so I had to take care of her. I could see that Mom's condition was getting worse. Her grimly face and emaciated body suggested that something serious is happening. However I thought that I'd take her to the hospital the next day if the condition didn't get any better. She didn't take any meal. I talked to her for a while. Her grievances with life and with the way she has always lived clearly showed that she was frustrated. Instead of consoling her, I was busy watching cricket and at times yelling at her not to think much. I didn't know I was going to regret that later. After watching twenty20 final I went to sleep at around 11.

Stayed Home

2009-06-20T22:35:00.003+05:30

"Wake up son. It's already eight and I need to go somewhere today", I had no idea why my Dad wanted to wake me up when he had somewhere to go. I turned the other way wanting to sleep. "Bring some yogurt and mango from chakrapath", his voice rang in my ears for next fifteen minutes I guess because when I woke up it was 8:15. When I just stepped out of home, SHE called me. "Sunana, you are coming right?", she said "I have to return your money back". I was annoyed. We don't look for reasons to meet, do we? We meet almost every Saturday and that is simple as that. "Oh! you look for reasons to meet now?", I frowned. "No, I was just...", I knew what she meant. "I cannot make it today honey. Mom is not feeling well and Aadi is sick as well", I was not feeling good telling that to her.

Back home I helped mom preparing meal and helped her with the dishes. Watched TV for a while when Nibesh called. "I'm visiting you so don't go anywhere", he said. I remembered the time when Nibesh used to come to my place everyday to prepare for the exams. We used to study together all day and he would go in the evening. I thought this time we didn't have to study and how we wished for this day during exams. But he never visited me after exams.

We were not studying this time. We had nothing to worry because we were as free as birds. But to our surprise we had nothing to do. We listened to RATM, we both like it, and then talked about this and that, cracked jokes, criticized people, laughed at them. But time wouldn't pass. I know it started getting boring for us and Nibesh thought of leaving. I looked at the watch, it was 3. I thought of taking a walk with him to the place where he would catch a bus.

"Dai where are you", Ayush called me to confirm. "I'm home. Are you guys coming?", I asked. "Within an hour", he said as we hung up. I always enjoy when Ayush and Bishal are here. Bishal and I enjoy playing prank to Ayush and his reactions are really interesting. Time passed easily with them playing guitar and singing songs.

Later in the evening, Sameep and I went for a walk. A little chit chat at Fellowship which was followed by the unknown call. Her calls are giving me all sorts of trouble as I have to fight to remain talking and moreover NTC's network does it all to make it even worse. Sameep and I walked a big round after a long time talking about each others' life, job, and every little thing.

Came home to have dinner and wanted to watch TV but stuck with Shaili. And simultaneously Ranjan's story in Sajha kept me busy. It was HER call again. "I don't receive missed calls these days from someone", it was her satire. I know I haven't been giving her missed calls more often. "My show was the best today", she was excited telling me. "I'm sorry, I couldn't watch it this time, a friend had visited", I said. "Oh! you could've watched it with your friend", she said. But Nibesh and I had completely forgotten about TV as we were busy listening to RATM all the while. "I'm sorry honey. I'll watch it next time", I told her. It was really a great conversation as she was sounding happy and I loved that.

I'm listening to Ozzy sing 'Goodbye to Romance', and I think I should now sleep.

Cheers!!!

Pic of the Day

Me playing guitar and singing while Ayush was taking the pic and Bishal listening

Freaky Friday

2009-06-20T07:54:00.003+05:30

The post party day at work was pretty freaky one. Not everyone had come. As soon as I reached the office, there was smile on everyone's face. We all discussed the party, and the way we enjoyed it. They all teased me for having danced with a new girl at office. "But I loved the way you danced in that dohori song", said Jeeten. I thanked him. "I'll take you to other parties as my dancing partner", offered Anu, the new staff at office.

"What happened to you last night?", the unknown caller giggled when she called me in the morning. "You told me everything and were talking rubbish about your girl", she added. I clearly remembered what I had told her while I was drunk. I regretted for having told her everything. She seemed a little sad I don't know why. She wasn't very happy to hear my story and I wasn't happy either to have told it to her. But she wanted to explain to me and suggest me what should be done now which was annoying. She doesn't need to explain to me about my life.

Apparently no one was working at work. I was in no mood at all. I called HER but it was a very brief conversation. She was in a rush maybe. "The class started at 10 today, so I was already here.", she said "Okay okay I'll hang up" was what she said before hanging up. Madhu is busy chatting with someone these days. Getting lost. He is not that active also because he hasn't taken salt because someone had died in his family this week. Sanjay is chill out person at office. His choices and mine are more or less the same. He watches football and listens to music that I like. He loves Chelsea and I love Liverpool but that difference is the most interesting one. Jeeten is always pretty busy at work as he is the customer support officer and has people around the world to keep him occupied. Shailendra wasn't in a very good mood today. Humble was as usual. G sir was also carefree today. He went to watch Angel and Demons. Surendra was also as always. Rajani was there getting bored but me, Rajani, Sanjay and Surendra cracked jokes, talked and played games on Rajani's computer until it was time to go. What a day at work.

Came home early because Mom is not feeling well. Cooked the meal. SHE called me. "Were you angry or what? You put the phone down heavily in the morning", she asked. I couldn't remember how did I put it down. "No. I was never angry", I said. She talked about her day. I described mine to her.

The unknown caller again. I took couple of breaks from the conversation and she was getting irritated. Nothing much to mention.

Met Shaili online after a long time. She is back in KTM for 5 days. It was great chatting with her. She's one different kinda person that I've met in my life. How? I think I need another hour to describe.

My computer is not recognizing my camera. Need to restart but I don't have time. I'll upload the pic of the day later.

Till then.

Cheers!!!

Pic of the day

Rajani lazying off at office. The freaky friday.

Partying

2009-06-18T22:58:00.004+05:30

This week has been a great one. Three parties in a row and I've not been able to give up any.

Woke up to find myself more sleepy, must be the weather. Mom was not feeling well so cooked the meal in the morning.

At office, almost everyone was in party mood. I had some hospital stuff to complete and some more phone calls. Couple of calls from the unknown caller again, we had a little chit chat. I came up with a great idea today that I will post a picture of the day everyday in my blog be it relevant to what I write or not.

Nothing much to mention from the office but after that we had a great time. The newly wed couple's picture has been selected to be the picture of the day. I'm in no mood to describe the details of the party but had a great time there.

I'm regretting for something I said over the phone while I was drunk. Damn! no one should talk to me long when I'm drunk.

:P

Pic of the day

Sachin weds Sadhana

Writing Wedenesday

2009-06-18T07:23:00.002+05:30

The call from unknown caller kept me away from writing yesterday therefore this Thursday morning, I am writing about my Wednesday.

Wednesday started quite harshly to me. I woke up as on the back of my mind I was worried that I wouldn't reach office because I didn't have petrol. I still had hope that it will be available somewhere before my tank runs empty. But that was not to happen. At Durbar Marg, the bike came to halt. I parked the bike at Durbar Marg, called Shekhar to pick me up at Baghbazaar where I had given the brochures to get printed. I collected the brochures while Shekhar reached at 10:45 to pick me up. I had an appointment at NMB at 11 and we reached the office at 11:05. I still had some work at office before I could leave for NMB. I got the price sheet printed and arranged the brochure and headed towards NMB with Shekhar again. He dropped me there.

At the second floor, Pranay was at his desk. There was no sight of excitement or surprise when he saw me there. He is always like that. I talked to him before I went upstairs to meet their COO. I handed him the brochure, talked to him about what the company is, who the clients are and the price. "To be very frank, we are not in the process of shifting the system for 2 years now", said the COO. I said it was not a problem, and urged him to keep considering our product. I affirmed him that I would remain in contact and that I would invite him to a conference on the third week of July. Downstairs was Pranay working. We talked, he teased me for every small reason as he always does. I didn't leave a chance to pay him back as well. After a while I left.

"I am around Baneshwor, was wondering if we could have lunch together", I told Aryan on the phone. "Please ask Suman and Caeser to come along", I added. At Rosemary, we had lunch, talked about this and that and then after an hour or so, we all headed office. At office, I didn't do much except for I worked on the checklist of the hospital's requirement.

The unknown caller had already called me a couple of times by then. She was still complaining that I didn't call her and after all this time I didn't trust her and all. I had very good reasons to escape the guilt.

I had parked my bike at Durbar Marg. I asked Chaudhary to bring a litre of petrol for me. I then urged Sanjay to drop me at Durbar Marg. He is a good guy. He lives at Baneshwor but still agreed to drop me there. On the phone with HER for the moment. We were having a serious talk if you ask me. "Why did you write 'something is missing between us' last time?", she asked. I thought I would have to find reasons. But I explained to her that our comfort level when we're together is not that high. We still feel awkward. She agreed with what I said. Suddenly Sanjay wanted us to leave. I hung up and went to Durbar Marg to find the bike safe. Then Sanjay and I departed for home.

At fellowship, Nirav and Jigri were resisting themselves from smoking. It was a great time being there with Nirav cracking jokes on Newton, Einstien and the gravity. We talked about Maya Calendar and the world would end on 2012. We talked how would it feel to be on the moon. "You have to go up to reach the moon and when you're there, you again need to go up to reach the earth, weird", we laughed. Jigri had to go to Chakrapath to fetch football boot. Nirav wouldn't let him go. I was enjoying that when suddenly I received the unknown call. I took a break from fellowship and talked to her for a while. The mood was little different as Jigri had decided to leave. It was around 8 so I thought I should leave.

Had dinner, and watched Spain vs Iraq. A close game won by Spain only with a goal to separate the two teams. Was on the phone with HER when she said that her Dad was screaming at her. We hung up. Then the unknown call again for 1 and half hour. I was already feeling sleepy so didn't write and slept.

Cheers!!!

Wasteusday

2009-06-16T22:05:00.002+05:30

I wanted to sleep but the dehydration would not let me to. Woke up after I got sick of trying to stay in bed. It was only seven and I knew it was going to be a tiresome day. I felt like I was drunk for days. The unknown caller again. She was at hospital for ultrasound. Talked as she reached the hospital and hung up. "You call me after an hour", she ordered and I said I would.

On the way after I dropped Dad at Baghbazaar, I called the unknown caller until my balance was low enough for NTC to puke a message on my phone after every call or message that I receive or make. She sounded happy to have received my call for the first time. I teased her for a while saying that I'd visit her at the office for which she said she was not yet ready. However she offered me to go to watch 'New York' next Saturday.

As soon as I reached office, G sir had a place for me to visit - REP, to attend the opening of the tender bids. I called her and she was on the way. We hung up as usual. I reached there at 11 which was the prescribed time. Right on time I had expected to finish the work in no time, but they had other plans. I wondered why did they call us on 11 when they finally called me in at 1. This is the most ridiculous thing that has happened to me in years. However luckily I found one of the acquaintances who was there for the same purpose and time passed quite easily.

Back to office to have lunch at our regular place after a long time. However, Surendra was only left to accompany me. Talked to Fahad about the software for hospital. He has promised to send me the specification list that I should extract from the customer.

Called her again. "We're out to lunch. Do you want to talk to Preeti?", she asked and I said I'd love to. "Dai, this is not fair, you only call her and not us. What's the matter?", Preeti teased me as we talked for a while. It was HER to say goodbye and hang up in the end.

The whole office today was in a party mood as Sachin and Sadhana were getting married today. The party was in the evening. We were to buy a gift. After office, we walked around Tripureshwor to buy gift for them. Gift was good and we went to the party. Enjoyed the party, teased Saddie and Sachin. Had a great chit chat with everyone from office after quite a time.

Couple of calls from the unknown caller before I came back home. I'm starting to enjoy talking to her whatsoever. She talks well.

At home at 10:03 and I'm on the net since then.

Cheers!!!

Another banda

2009-06-15T22:48:00.003+05:30

It was not so great news that I woke up with. I had heard my sis talking to someone confirming that it was a banda. This time I didn't want it to happen. I wanted to work. I have a deadline approaching and I wanted to make it a success.

I had no option but to stay at home. "We won't open the shop only if it is banda", it was yesterday that the storekeeper had told us where we had bought a gift for Bikash's sister's wedding. His words proved to be right, and it was a banda today. I cursed him as soon as I heard the news.

G sir was already at office chatting with me when I was still at home. He said that bikes were allowed but I couldn't take a chance because YCL are like demons, they would stop people walking in the street if they could. And I'm sure they will do that in near future. Good for nothing. They're motherf**krs. Sorry for that but I can't control my aggression. They're protesting against someone who was killed who was in their group. Can they protest against their negligence that someone died because they didn't dismantle the mine that exploded and killed someone today itself? They don't deserve to live. 'We're fighting for people', they say. F**k people, they don't even know who the people are. That Gajurel motherf**kr was unwilling to accept what the American said to them. He says "We want people to say his words to follow him". What the f**k does he think of himself? Does he even know who people are? They don't have shame. Prachandapath is bullshit, they should be buried in a single grave and never remembered again. Girija is wrong, his people are wrong, but they didn't ever put the nation in this trouble. How can we people go wrong? Voting these motherf**krs and expecting from them. They're only there to f**k people once more. I can't explain how frustrated I am right now. They all should be hanged until death. That will be less to these motherf**krs.

We had a wedding ceremony to attend. I was not expecting it to happen under these circumstances. But the motherf**krs wanted some time to eat. They wanted the f**kin rest. They should be buried in one grave as I said. Burning a surgeon's bike, attacking press and ambulances. Prachanda is one bullshit that Nepal has ever given birth to. He knows he is wrong, he always knows that, but he doesn't care that people have right to live in Nepal. Prachanda should be burnt alive, and all his cadres. 'Banda' - what the f**k is it? Not letting people do their work. And what do they say when they're interviewed? "We're sorry for the inconvinience", f**k we don't need you to apologize. 'Man makes mistakes but only fools repeat them', I heard it somewhere and it is very true. Maoists suck. They're good for nothing. If only they used their forces to rebuild what they destructed in 10 years, I would have leaned on their feet and praised them. But what do these motherf**krs know? They only know how to dismantle things? A small kid with no brains can do that. And they're proud of that? Motherf**krs. I can go and dismantle someone's house. If he asks me to rebuild it, I would die but couldn't do that. These motherf**krs don't know this. They only know how to destruct things in Nepal, they only know how to make this nation a hell. We're another Afghanistan, the difference is, we're being sucked by our own blood. At least Afghanistan has someone to blame, but we, we are like whores, as we say, not being able to know who fucked us. We need to answer our children and who is to blame? Prachanda? He never fucked my wife but my wife gives birth to his bastard who is against him, ready to kill him just because he has some fuckin cadres who call themselves YCL and fuck every Nepali. Sorry I am sick of pressing Shifr + 8.

Went to Bikash's sister's wedding ceremony. Had a great time to forget everything to forget about us being fucked by a fucking hooligan. Had a great time there. Susan I'm sorry if you're reading it. But god only knows how happy I was to see you again. You are the best among us, you should be doing something to make us proud.

I'm thinking of Robin dai. Is there anything I can do? Anything we can do to save us from being raped?

Miss you Shaili, you didn't leave me a note when you were online. Haha. Why should you.

Cheers!!!.

Slow Sunday

2009-06-14T21:15:00.002+05:30

Woke up to find Aadi lying beside me without speaking a word waiting for me to wake up. I loved him so much. My morning passed with him.

"I'm going to NRB", Suman typed and I thought I could as well go there to find out about the regulations to the banks that NRB imposes. The meeting was not so fruitful as they seemed very busy and they had nothing to provide in hand. They only asked me to visit the website which I have been doing for past two weeks only to get lost. Suman me and Aryan went to Khaja ghar to have lunch and then back to work.

At work, I just made some calls and then some emails. Time just slipped as there was a meeting with Rolling Plans. I had to meet friends to buy a gift for Bikash's sister's wedding ceremony which is tomorrow. Then we had a great time talking in front of Standard Chartered Bank. Then headed back home.

The regular stuff at home except that Aadi was waiting for me. I had a great time with him while he has now gone to bed.

Cheers

Pretty normal

2009-06-13T21:21:00.002+05:30

*Bang* the door opened and Aadi entered. I think I would die of sleep if Aadi stayed here always. He never lets me sleep late in the morning when he is here. I took him to Bhatbhateni to buy some sweets and fruits. On the way the unknown call accompanied me. Her questions were mostly the ones that I didn't want to answer. I am not enjoying it much because of that I guess.

She called me just when I reached home. I told her it was again a doubt if I could make it today. Di and Bhena were at home and generally I don't go out when they're here. But it was already 3 weeks and I had to. I managed to meet her for 2 hours. After UWTC, we went to Hots for pizza. She was sleepy, and I guess it was the weather because I was feeling sleepy as well. Something is lacking between us. I don't feel very comfortable and I think that we two vary in thoughts, I might be 100% wrong. She didn't talk too much today however I was able to bring her long face to a fresh one in the end. I felt as though she was not feeling very great being with me. I sent her a text asking whether that was the case. She called me and said it was nothing like that. I believe in her. (I am not sure whether she is the special one for me. I want to make myself sure that it is her whom I have been looking for. My brain is restraining me from believing that she is the one. I will have to give her time. How long?)

Watched TV at home for a while before I played with Aadi as he was being fed by Di. The most difficult task for Di is to feed him. He does not eat until there is a better incentive for eating.

On the net ever since Aadi is busy watching TV. He will go to bed now. I tried calling her but she must be already in bed.

Cheers!!!

Exciting

2009-06-12T21:38:00.002+05:30

Nirakar and I had a plan to watch Terminator at Jai Nepal on Saturday. So I was done with the washing of my clothes this morning. But, Di was coming home so she'd want me to stay at home tomorrow at least in the morning. So I had to cancel the plan. I thought I drove two days to reach the office. I don't know why I felt like the road never ended.

She didn't have to go to college as everyone was going somewhere. "But I'm going to a friend's place. My friend didn't want to join that group so I couldn't go as well", she sounded as though she was willing to go. "You gave me a good company while I was walking", she thanked me as we hung up.

"Why didn't you call me?", the unknown caller asked me. Only god knows how much I didn't want to receive the call but the ring wouldn't stop and I'm bad at ignoring people. "I'm still on bed", I lied to her. "No you're telling me lies", she said "You work at Ekantakuna". I was dying to put the phone down but she wouldn't stop. After a long irritated conversation, I managed to hang up.

Nirakar visited me at the office at around 11 and we had a great time together after a long long time. I enjoy talking to him and suddenly we started talking about bikes. We discussed which bike was good and the prices. I thought of Honda Stunner and he said it is nice. We started browsing sites and looking for information but in vain. We anticipated it to cost around 160 thousand plus. We made a plan to visit the showroom at Kumaripati. But unfortunately, it only displayed Hero Honda and not Honda. "Kupondole", he said and we went there. We saw the bike. Everything looked fine to us. "What is the price dai?", I asked. "One fifty six nine hundred", he said and I couldn't believe my ears.We went to Dragon for lunch talking about the bike and Nirakar urged me to go for it. I headed office after then and he went home.

At office I called Kargil and asked for the number of the person who was looking for a software for hospital. He gave it to me. I made an appointment which was immediate. I talked to G sir about it, he said we could offer the software from Pakistan. It is another one, I-tack Solutions the company and, I-Care the product.

Madhu accompanied me as we went to Shantinagar. The meeting was good as they seem interested to see the software. I can see more than that. It could as well be a successful implementation. I would love to see that.

Then at Baneshwor I bought machha (fish). She called me. "I'm just home. You're out", she said. "Yeah! At Baneshwor", I added. "Okay then I'll hang up", she said and I agreed. Madhu and I went to Putalisadak looking for a dry cleaners. A whole round we took from Putalisadak to Jai Nepal to Durbar Marg to Baghbazaar but no sign of a dry cleaner. Finally at Baghbazaar I asked if there was one around. They gave me the direction and we found it. I had promised Madhu a drink (not a hard one - only coke). We searched for a good place around Baghbazaar and it was hard to find. I ended up buying a scarf for myself. Then we went to Kamaladi and had the cold drink after which I dropped Madhu in front of Tri-chandra college.

Aadi had already called me thrice. "I'll be watching for you outside the window. You should arrive like the wind", he demanded. I remembered his little voice calling me "Mama, kaha hunuhunchha" - Mama where are you. It had been long since I held him in my hands and kissed him in the cheek. I rushed towards home and waved to guys at fellowship and reached home. He loves fish and the first thing he did was confirmed if I had brought it. He was happy and I put him in my lap. He seemed as though he missed my lap as he is not that kind of kid who stays in a place for more than 10 seconds. I played with him running and dancing around the house and realized how much I had missed him.

Call from the unknown number. I picked it up. The conversation was good but still I was so unwilling to talk to her. She wouldn't stop, she called me more than 5 times and Di was already shouting at me. I couldn't help. I wanted the mystery of how she got my number to be revealed. I tried all along but in vain. I was already feeling sleepy talking to her so I hung up.

"Your phone was busy", she said as I called her. I had made no secret about the new girl to her. I say everything to her generally. "It was that girl, irritating me all along", I tried sounding as casual as possible. She was silent. I knew she was not enjoying that. I could have made her feel good in seconds but I wanted her to know the pain, I wanted her to realize that it feels exactly the same to me when she does that to me.

Talked about Stunner with Da and he has permitted me to go for it. I just want the tax of my current bike to get cleared which is taking time and killing me at the same time.

I'm blogging at this time of night with a long face. I wish I was in bed.

Cheers!!!

Not very great

2009-06-11T21:23:00.002+05:30

There was a message on the phone when I woke up. I was happy to have received that. I replied to her and then continued with the A Thousand Splendid Suns. There was another text on the phone while I was brushing. I thought it was her but it was from an unknown number. Typical 'Will you be my fren' text from an unknown number. I didn't give a damn.

I had fixed an appointment yesterday. I didn't confirm the meeting in the morning and went directly. But to my dismay, the person whom I was to meet hadn't arrived. I waited for him when she called. After a long time I enjoyed the call and didn't have to put the phone down half-hearten. I had nothing to do so I thought of replying to the anonymous text. After an hour, I was informed that the person whom I was supposed to meet was busy and told that the meeting be arranged some other day. I had no option but to head towards office.

The petrol shortage had already started troubling me as I was not sure if I would reach the office without having to drag my motorbike. But to my luck, I reached the office safe. At office, my to do list was not very long today. There was a text from the anonymous sender with her name and I never had come across that name. I replied saying that she must have mistaken and to check the number. I tried fixing some more appointments but in vain. I think I was a bit unlucky from the morning today.

"It has become a routine to talk to you as soon as I reach home", she said over the phone as I had called her as usual. I know it has become a routine, but is there a reason behind it? I don't have an answer to it.

"Where are you", I asked Sushanta and he was at Karki's place. I knew he was there as he had called in the afternoon. I wanted to make sure he was still there. I had asked Shekhar to bring two litres of petrol for me. I went to Karki's place to meet them after 2 weeks almost. It mustn't have happened ever since we left college. It was good to be by their side, good to talk to them about everything. And most of all I put all the photos and videos from our trip on my computer and we all watched them remembering the moments.

On our way back home, Sushanta said that he had to go to BhatBahateni Chakrapath. He didn't find what he was searching for but I bought a deodorant and some snickers. Wasn't it great Sushanta? I'm sure it was. Then we headed towards home.

The anonymous sender again sent me a text urging me to call. But I ignored it. I called HER instead. We had nothing much to talk about and we hung up in a couple of minutes. Then I received the anonymous call. I picked it up. She was entirely a stranger if she is to be believed. I didn't disclose my identity however talking was fun.

After a couple of phone calls, the conversation ended and I am taking break from everything and blogging.

Busy day

2009-06-10T21:13:00.004+05:30

I finished reading The Kite runner in the morning. I just loved the book, it ended where I wanted to read more. But it was fabulous.

There was no sign from her since yesterday. I thought she was upset, with what? was hard to find out. I remembered our last conversation and it was pretty fine. But I hadn't called her since then either not even a ring from either side. I would wait for her. At office she gave me a ring. I called her back. Everything was fine like every other day. I wondered if I was the only one thinking that way.

Caeser called from nowhere and told that he was on a visit. I though he had an interview somewhere around. But he was at FNC he said. I felt so glad that he visited me. We talked for a while and he said he would go. I couldn't insist for his stay until lunch because I had a meeting with Mashhood and he would be bored alone.

The teleconference with Dr. Mashhood was great. I like him as he explains to me everything without delay and is always ready to help me. I got myself cleared on various issues. He said he is always there to clear things up. That made me glad again.

Other tasks that I finished and a couple of phone calls to fix meetings with banks kept me busy all day. It was a great day at work altogether. In the evening, G sir wanted me to finalise the business card before I went to visit anyone tomorrow. That kept me there until 6 and at the photo studio until 7. I walked out of the photo studio with ten cards and the bill that I will produce at the office tomorrow.

"Hey! I'm so excited. I got distinction", she said over the phone and I was glad to hear her happy voice. "Oh you did? Congrats", I congratulated her and felt happy for her. I remembered how she had cried for her results when she didn't secure a distinction in the first semester. I smiled. I know she is vulnerable. Ready to break either way - happiness or sadness. She needs small reason to reach the extreme of them. I congratulated and hung up as I was busy.

On the way I turned towards the press that had promised me to print the additional information in the brochure itself. We need to put out contact details on the brochure of PIBAS that Mashhood had sent to me earlier. He looked at the brochure and assured me that there wouldn't be a single scratch on the brochure after the print but he cannot guarantee the color which I can understand.

Headed back home when I received a ring from her. I called her back and promised to call her when I reached home. Met Milan and Jigri at chiya pasal. We talked about the transfer rumors this time. Pirlo to Chelsea and Masch to Barca (I recently found that Masch will stay with Pool and I'm glad). Came back home to have dinner and to stay on the net again. I just started "A Thousand Splendid Suns" by Khaled Hosseini himself. Manju had suggested me the book telling that it was better than the Kite Runner. I'm finding it interesting.

A little chat over the MSN with Sushanta, Ranajan and Bishnu gave me some good time. Ring on the phone diverted me and it was her. I looked at my cordless and it was dead. I charged it a little while and called her. I wasn't in a very good mood to talk. I just bade her goodnight and put the phone down.

Tomorrow I have a lot to do. I hope for a sound sleep. The temperature is heating up in the valley making it more and more difficult to sleep.

Until Tomorrow.

Mixed

2009-06-09T20:08:00.002+05:30

Woke up to finish the Kite Runner again. Since I only get to read it at home, I've been spending all my spare time on it. However reading it got me late for the office while on the way Madhu called to confirm the meeting at CMC. I just changed my mind from going to office directly. I asked him to meet me at Thapathali so that we could go together. At Thapathali, while waiting, I saw that vehicles were being blocked and I was sure that Madhu wouldn't make it. As expected, Madhu called me telling that he was stuck somewhere around Pulchok and I knew he couldn't come. I decided to go alone. I was given the location yesterday and I was surprised that I found CMC in one shot.

The meeting did not last for half an hour. I knew the road was not yet cleared but I couldn't lodge myself there for next hour without any work. I headed back towards office. The situation was the same. I just crept through the Traffic Police and reached the other side of the bridge at Kupondol. Luckily the party had shortened the banda from 2 hours to 1 hour meaning that the roads would clear at 11. I looked at my watch, it was 10:45. I thought of taking some pictures from my mobile. After that, I had nothing to do but listen to what they had to say. "We are fighting for Nepalese people", one of their so called leaders chanted. I could not suppress my rage against that. "Fighting for Nepalese people is complete bullshit. You guys are making our lives hell. You cannot fight for your rights until and unless you don't protect the other's", I shouted expecting protests. I'm not sure if the leader heard that but surprisingly their followers themselves were giggling and grinning at what I said. I asked them who was getting benefited from the banda and they had no answer. I wonder why do people run after such leaders who cannot explain their own followers about their mission.

Finally reached office to prepare my to - do list. It was pretty long. The tasks in the list as well as some guidance to Madhu kept me busy all day. I'm hoping to have some long fought appointments this week. I have a meeting with Mashhood tomorrow where I need to be more clear on some more things. 12 noon Pakistani time is what Mashhood has agreed upon.

Called her just before leaving office. "I had a great great day", she said. "I shouldn't have told you about how I think of myself", she regretted for telling me how her friends appreciated about her looks today and that she herself was compelled to look in the mirror. "That's absolutely fine", I tried to react as normal as possible. "Anything you say to me needs no regret in the end", I added. She feels that I don't talk to much. I know I don't. If I write about everything then I will sound funny but I am different to different people like everybody else is.

Had to go to Baghbazaar for printing the sticker but I was suggested that the print be made on the brochure itself. I think that sounds absolutely fine as long as they do not screw the brochures.

At fellowship, Khum was with guitar. Long time since I heard him sing. In fact it has been around 5 years. He sings really well and how he strums the guitar is really appreciable. A couple of Beatles, Bryan Adams and Bon Jovi songs each kept us until 8 o clock after which I came home to have dinner.

I hope to finish the Kite Runner this evening.

Mast Monday

2009-06-08T20:45:00.005+05:30

Mosquitoes last night didn't let me sleep. However I couldn't sleep much in the morning so I woke up to read the Kite Runner. The story is captivating as Poonam says. She finished in one sit, 11 hours flat. I cannot look at myself doing that. However I am dying to finish the book but I'm not being able to give it a pace.

At office I was very sleepy and Poonam's suggestion of taking a strong coffee helped. I don't know if the series of work that followed would have needed the dose of coffee to keep me busy and alive but it helped me a lot. My to-do list had seven tasks in hand and moreover each one of them was important. The meeting with G sir almost kept us until the lunch time. But I finished a couple of tasks before lunch. After lunch I had a meeting with Narendra dai whose website is almost done but needs some finishing touch. "I need the site to function very fast", he has been saying that to me for a month now. People don't understand that even when they spend money, they have to spend some time to get quality product that is fully functional. That was what had happened with K and K Travels who needed an ecommerce site in a week. It took almost two months and they have not stopped panicking.

I am not getting myself involved in the website related work now as I have other tasks to perform from my new responsibilities. But these things never leave me alone as Devashish from HRDC has already booked my 17th of June for a presentation. No one else is eligible for that.

Like everyday we had a phone call. "I tell you every detail of my day. You can write a diary mentioning our conversation and become famous one day", she said over the phone as though she knew that I write about her everyday. I had never told her about my blog. But I was surprised when she said that. "I write about you on the internet. I don't write every detail of what you say, but I don't miss whatever is relevant and worth mentioning", I told her. She believed but I had a feeling that she thought I was trying to impress her.

Sameep called and I suddenly remembered that we had agreed to meet at the Lalitpur Bishal Bazaar. Their exams would get over and we had promised to meet for a drink. Bajeko Sekuwa at Gairidhara was a good place. Had a couple of drinks and came back home to have dinner. I never miss dinner at home no matter how much I eat outside.

There's no light and I am listening to Tom Petty's Free falling on my laptop and writing about my day.

Cheers!!!

Starter

2009-06-07T21:04:00.004+05:30

Generally my Sundays are not starters. They only make me feel that another six days will get better and better as the saturday approaches. But today was different. It was a starter of the week like a nitro-booster on a motorbike excelling the bike at a speed leaving you wondering when did you reach the destination. Everyday, my destination is 5:30. I hate to work overtime, as I only get paid for the nine hours that I contribute daily. I feel more professional when I think that way.

I was in a mood to work. In fact, there was a booster - Mashhood's email that praised my work. I have a lot to do if I am to follow the plans that I had sent to him on friday. He has faith in me and I do not want to dishearten him. A meeting at twelve with Bishwo, who wants to work for us left me with an agenda on my mind that I should be discussing with Mashhood when we have a conversation next time.

The meeting delayed our lunch time and on my return there was another meeting waiting for me. Sangharsha explained the technicalities of the website to the clients while I supported him wherever I thought he missed something important. The meeting was immediately followed by another one with G Sir and we discussed how the payment mode should be and what facilities we can provide to our clients. G sir is good at negotiating.

It was around 4 and I was looking for the quotation that we had sent to Abroad flight as it had to be changed. Finally I remembered that whatever was in the Navision was the corrected version. I got it printed for Madhu and since it was already late he dropped the idea of visiting the client today.

She was meeting the guy whom she had lent money to take it back. I didn't care about that until she called me to say that there's a problem. I looked at my bike to find a flat tyre. I would have made it to her but when I again called her, she said everything was fine. I didn't have to go. Madhu accompanied me up to Naxal. He had a stranger to meet but he didn't as he took a micro from Tangal and went back home. I came home to watch Federer win his first Roland Garros title.

She gave me a missed call right after the game as though she was waiting for the game to end. I called her back to know how her day was and tell her about mine. Hung up in a while as she was busy with her accounts homework.

I'm about to read The Kite Runner before I sleep.

:!

Silent Saturday

2009-06-06T20:06:00.002+05:30

Mosquitoes and summer bothered me all night long. I just wanted the darkness to get over so that I could sleep. In the morning I slept until 9 and then woke up to take breakfast. I was very confused on what was I going to do. There was a concert happening, and I was considering it. We hadn't fixed the date and I was not sure if it was going to happen.

I finally waited for something to pop up however I was in a mood to stay home. She called me to confirm if we were meeting. I wanted to, I told her I'd call her after the show. Sushanta too had a date so mine had to be canceled. I've always took her on his bike. I could have made it anyways but suddenly something urgent came up and had to go. I have not much details about the visit to write but I informed her that I could not make it anyways. Came back at around 5 to watch TV.

We talked over the phone quite serious issues according to her. I didn't feel it was serious anyways. But in the end we both were happy to have talked about life.

After that I started reading The Kite Runner. A nice book by Khaled Hosseini. I'm around halfway through the book and I can't wait to finish it up.

Had dinner and I'm surfing the net a little while before I'll get back to reading the book again.

Casual Friday

2009-06-05T20:28:00.002+05:30

The Kite Runner is what's keeping me busy whenever I have time. I woke up to read some chapters when I suddenly realized that G Sir wanted me to be at the office at 9:30. There was someone visiting the office. I hit the road right at 9 a.m. However, the rush hour failed my timing as it was around 9:45 when I reached the office with nothing to panic whatsoever.

Mashhood and I agreed on our last conversation that I would prepare a weekly report every friday and send it to him before I leave the office. So I was busy preparing the report and the report seemed good. There were other tasks to be done including the workouts for the proposal and appointments that are likely to take place next week. However I read Kite Runner whenever I had time. As always there's nothing much to mention from the work.

I had sent her a text in the morning (nothing special. It was a goodmorning greeting). However called her in the afternoon. "Wait wait I'm boarding a bus", she was in a hurry maybe entering a bus. "I am at Lazimpat going to Kamaladi now". She had some projects to finish and wandering from bank to bank. "Okay then I shall call you later maybe in the evening", I said and we hung up. In the evening it was pretty good conversation, however no one dared to talk about Saturday. We always meet on Saturdays but this time we both want the other to start the topic. I was not going to do that and neither has she. Whatever happens to the date, I have better plans.

"You still at the office?", it was Dad this time. "Yeah! I'm about to leave", I said. "Do one thing. Bring home some fish, maybe a kilo or two". My Dad had plans from yesterday and I hadn't forgotten. It was perfect, the rain had just stopped and I was off to Khichapokhari. Manandhar Fish Store is where I buy fish everytime. Something about that place always takes me there. My bike was a little uneasy. I checked the front tyre to find it flat. At Sundhara, where could I find a repair shop. I dragged the bike towards Bhotebahal and to my luck there was a small workshop that apparently dealt only with bicycles. But the mechanic agreed to make it straight.

Then I returned with Hits FM through my earplugs. I found that there's a concert happening at Bhrikuti Mandap. 1974 A.D., Mukti and Revival and Robin N New Revolution are performing. I am trying my best to be there tomorrow. Let's hope everything turns out right for me to attend a concert after a long time.

I'll have dinner in a while. For now I'm off.

Cheers!!!

Tumbled Thursday

2009-06-04T20:12:00.002+05:30

Last Night
Got HER message and it explained what had happened in a way that I couldn't even half understand it.

Today
There was a knock on the door and surprise - Kishor was here. "When did you arrive?", I asked him. "Yesterday! You've grown fat, look at your beard!!" he picked out changes in me. Kishor returned home yesterday from US after four years with wedding bells. The situation in Nepal was a hot topic between Dad and Kishor and I loved listening to them.

She called me and asked me if I felt bad last night. I said no because I didn't feel bad at all. She had to put the phone down I didn't know why but it was in a rush. Reached the office to call her again. She talked to me to confuse me more. I did not enjoy talking, I was damn confused. For the first time my mind allowed my heart to play. I got emotional and couldn't act rational. I put the phone down, she was hurt and so was I. I sent her a text explaining what I felt. She didn't reply but her missed call was irritating me. Later I called her. I said what I felt and why I wrote the text. She sounded horrified, as though she couldn't take it anymore. Even I couldn't take that anymore. She hoped me to slid, but I didn't. Why would I? We hung up and it was yet not clear what was happening.

Mashhood was preparing an appointment letter for me. Maybe it has to do with taxes and all. I gave him my address as he asked. A clients problems has become my problem now. They are giving me all sorts of trouble with one thing or the other. Solving their problem has been quite a task for me these days. A couple of messages from Mashhood and completing some more tasks took my time.

Couple of more phone calls with her. It took around five phone calls in fact to sort out our confusion. "I have been in a weird mood all day. I can't stop smiling and laughing in fact", she muttered. What? I have been through such mental disturbance all day hampering my work and she says she has been laughing all day. But soon I realized that she was hiding her disappointment with me. I started to realize that I was thoughtless and insensitive in the morning. She had warned me earlier of such things. However the fault was hers as well. Her words exactly meant what I had derived as my conclusion and she said that I was going too far and concluding too early. Maybe I was wrong, maybe I am not. But I know this is not big an issue as I think.

Madhu agreed for another round of ice cream and we were on our way to Bhat Bhateni. But at Putalisadak, rain stopped us. We went to Kumari bar and had a cup of coffee each (weird). The rain stopped after around an hour. I returned home. Guys were at the tea shop today. Nirav, Jigri, Milan and Subodh. Federer is into semi finals past Monfils. Tennis took the stage today. It was around 8 so had to go home. Had dinner. I'm watching TV and writing.

Boo!!

Weary Wednesday

2009-06-03T20:39:00.003+05:30

I woke up with the glimpses of weird dream in my eyes. I don't remember what it was. I had a feeling that the day was not going to be a good one. "Is it banda today too?", Mom asked and I was so damn wishing for it to be true. But as always luck was not on my side. I didn't give a damn about the new attendance system at office, if I followed it I would be there at 9:30. I entered the bathroom to take a shower at nine. Took meal after the shower. The clock hit 9:30 when I kicked the road.

As I stepped into the office, Malvika with a big smile announced the news in the office. "FACEBOOK HAS BEEN BANNED". There was a long message in my inbox. It was from the CEO. It took me almost ten minutes to read it. The letter explained why Facebook was banned in office and it clearly described that the most unhappy person in our whole office was our CEO. He has appealed everyone to come up with a strong reason why Facebook should be re-allowed in the office. I didn't give a damn.

Talked to Mashhood and cleared some confusion regarding how I should initiate my work. I got direction more or less but I am not enjoying my job. Not at all. (I hope my boss does not read my blog).

She wanted to meet me. She was at Pulchok and expected me to meet her at 4. "I can come but I will have to return to the office later", I said. "Oh that's bad. I wouldn't enjoy that. Okay then, I will go home now", she said and we hung up.

Madhu had some work at Bhatbhateni and he asked me to drop me there. I agreed. Just before leaving I gave her a call. "I am at Pulchok", she said and I was appalled. "Are you nuts? What are you doing there?", I choked. "We are at Kantipur FM's office, just hanging around". 'What wonderful place is an FM station to hang around?' I wondered. "Will you drop me home?" she asked. "Oh I'm sorry, I just promised someone here that I'd drop him at Bhatbhateni", I said. "Oh that's okay, but that leaves me alone to go home", she whined. "I'm sorry, I'll see you on Saturday", I convinced her as we hung up.

Came to Bhatbhateni with Madhu. He had some polo shirt to buy but he ended up buying me an ice-cream and departed without buying the shirt. I think Bhatbhateni is a little too expensive.

At fellowship met Milan, Jigri, Subodh and Bikram. We talked about Champions League, the premier league and how we all hated Manchester United. Jigri had nothing to say, he is alone in the group supporting united. Oh to mention everyone's choice - Milan (Chelsea), Subodh (Arsenal), Bikram (Liverpool) and me (Liverpool). We had a great time there.

Mom called me twice before I went home. It was already eight - past our dinner time. Had dinner and there were around 5 missed calls from her. She was weeping on the other side of the phone. I am so bad at handling such situations. I asked what happened but she was mum like a stone. "My friend said that he'll return your money by Sunday", she said. Hell with the money, I wanted to know why she was crying and she wasn't speaking up. I had a sheer chill through my body. My skepticism rose and I thought this could mean anything. She hung up leaving for dinner.

I sent her a text asking her to call me whenever she felt that talking to me could help. She gave me a missed call. I called her back. She now sounded good but she was still unwilling to talk about why she was crying. I however managed to convince her to promise me that she would send me a text explaining about it as much as possible. I hope she does.

I'm chatting with Sushanta right now. Sharing my state of affairs. He's there suggesting me, listening to me, and I'm glad to have him as one of my best friends.

Testing Tuesday

2009-06-02T19:49:00.004+05:30

Talked to Dad in the morning after quite a time. It was long since I talked to him seriously on any matter. He had been going through a lot of stress and generally he does not talk too much when he is tensed. I knew talking to him in such a situation would be useless as he barely answers in that temperament. Anyways felt good to see him smiling again.

Work was not very interesting today. In fact, I have not enjoyed my job since I shifted. I feel as if I am not made for it. At times I even feel that I should have chosen an entirely different field. But I'm sure everyone goes through that situation at one point of time, in fact, in many points of time in life. However, I contacted some of the banks. I have confusion and no proper path to follow at the moment. So I have again called a meeting for tomorrow. Prepared an agenda for the meeting. Chatting with Shaili from work today was different. It is her last day of vacation and she won't be there to talk to me for a long time from now on. It felt different. It was not as usual.

Called HER in the afternoon today. She was at lunch but talked to me. She always seems maybe pretends to be happy to receive my call. Therefore I love talking to her over the phone.

There was another meeting in the end. I was not sure why G sir was talking to me about the problems related to my previous responsibilities as I have entirely different job description. I know he is not yet fully convinced that without me it will run as smoothly as before. However, I believe in Madhu and he is working hard. The meeting ended in a happy note however. I put my views, grievances and loopholes that I saw in the process. I am fully committed to making the process a better one.

Called her again before leaving office. Nothing special to mention except that she was talking about her bad mood; how a guy ruined her two days by talking about her personal matters; how I wouldn't understand her without knowing the full story; and she was in no mood to narrate it to me.

Came home at around 7 when mom had already prepared the meal. Ate dinner as I was feeling hungry before I watched TV and then I'm writing here.

Cheers!!!

Banda Monday

2009-06-01T20:20:00.003+05:30

Woke up to wish a good morning through a text to her as I had seen her in my dreams. I didn't have to rush this morning as Newa: whatever had called banda and I didn't have to go to office under the circumstance. Mom prepared the meal and it tasted so good, maybe because I was not eating in rush and because I was eating at home after a break.

Enjoyed the meal and I wanted to take a full rest today. I watched TV for a while, the re-telecast of Champions League Final and other few channels when I fell asleep. Woke up to watch TV again. Had to finish the laundry that I had piled from Pokhara trip. Then ate lunch. It felt so good to have lunch at home after long long time.

Couple of missed calls every hour kept me connected with her. Called her in the evening. "What's happening? You were sounding romantic in the morning. And you're giving me missed call once in a while", she teased me. "Hey that message is true. I saw you in my dream last night", I tried to defend myself. "Oh really? Did you see me in your dreams literally? So you mean you saw what you wrote?", she wanted to get assured. I had seen exactly what I had written and she sounded happy to know that. "Okay I'll hang up", she said after talking north pole to south pole in around half an hour.

Wlink kept me away from my computer as they have removed the day service for us. I didn't want to call them to fix it because I wanted to remain away from the net at least for a day. At seven, I checked emails and replied some of the important ones. Talking to Shaili over FB. She's leaving day after tomorrow and I'm not feeling very good about it. Damn I will miss her.

Cheers!!!

Back to work

2009-06-01T18:48:00.003+05:30

After the Pokhara trip with not much zeal though, I was at work on Sunday. A couple of meetings internal and external kept me busy throughout the day. Nothing much to mention.

I talked to her before leaving office and right after I hung up and left, there was her missed call. I thought she must have forgotten something important to say. I called her back. "Shall I pick up?", she asked and that was funny. "I just wanted to tease you and you called me", she added. "Oh I thought you missed something important to say. Okay, I shall call you in the evening", I said and hung up.

"I just wanted to play missed call game", she whispered on the phone. I had given her a call after her missed call again at night. "I cannot talk to you right now so hang up and play missed call game with me", she ordered. And then we played what she called missed call game for about an hour when finally I thought she slept. I was busy downloading themes for my phone for a while after which I slept too.

Kathmandu - Pokhara - Bandipur - Pokhara - Kathmandu

2009-05-31T07:08:00.006+05:30

To Pokhara

'Oh she's only seventeen!!!', Kings of Leon was rocking the car as Sushanta and his Mom picked me up as we drove towards Jamal to catch a bus to Pokhara. "Meet us right in front of Nabil Bank", I directed Abhishek on the phone. Aunt wished us a happy journey and bade us goodbye as she left. We took a bus which looked satisfactorily comfortable. The last seat was acceptable as we three could be together throughout the journey. We needed nothing more than the company of ourselves to make the journey better. But to add to that, there were two other girls (of same age as ours) in the last seat itself. "I think the journey will get very romantic", I whispered in Abhishek's ear.
Football has always been a hot topic among three of us. Praising, criticizing, gossiping took us to Malekhu in no while where we had some breakfast (Bikash can explain more about the breakfast). Suddenly on the bus, we were offered cheese balls by the girls. Sushanta took three balls one for each of us and it couldn't have looked funnier. Abhishek offered fruit cake back to them and we thought things were getting amazing.
As we made our way, we were trying to get some sleep but in vain. All of us were feeling very hungry as we neared Muglin but the bus didn't stop. Sushanta affirmed that they will stop somewhere around ten kilometres from Muglin. We waited. Another 10, we waited. Another ten again we waited. Sushanta never got tired of declaring next 10 kilometers and it was getting into our nerves. We lost hope, we lost hunger and we were already thinking of Pokhara when finally the bus stopped in front of a restaurant. We rushed to the counter and ordered meal. To our hardest luck, the food was pathetic. "I can't eat this crap", shouted Sushanta and neither could I. We paid for the meal whatsoever and made our way to the bus.
Offering and accepting one thing or the other to and from the girls became a routine. We reached Pokhara finally when the girls bade us goodbye. "Can I have your number?", I asked as they went silent out of the bus and I thought I looked so dumb.

At Arthalaya

We took a taxi from the tourist bus park looking for Hotel Lake Palace. Abhishek and Sushanta stayed down as I went to see the third batch of Arthalaya. It was so great to see the people from Samriddhi - Samyukta didi, Robin Dai, Arpita Didi, Pranita didi, David and Manogya. The first glimpse I got was of Robin Dai as it was his session going on. He saw me outside the door and without delay welcomed me. "We are fortunate to have Neelam here from the second batch of Arthalaya" he announced as I entered the hall. I waved to the class and Robin Dai asked me to take a seat somewhere. As it was the last session, the participants were sharing their experiences. It felt so good to be back at Arthalaya though I wasn't a participant. It got me nostalgic and I wondered how people from different walks of life get into a bond through such programs. I thought of my friends from Arthalaya, I thought of Srada, and everyone else.
Abhishek and Sushanta were outside the hotel waiting for me. We had to look for a room as it was quite costly for us to stay at Lake Palace. Thanks to Manogya for his effort though.

The Hotel

"My hotel is the cheapest one. The room has three beds, a TV and an attached bathroom", almost everyone we met at the tourist bus park told us. We took some of their business cards as well. After leaving Arthalaya, we went looking for those hotels but they didn't look very good to us. The last business card was in my hand and we thought it was quite far from where we were. However we were making our way when a boy in his teens stopped us. He urged us to have one look at his hotel but we wanted to settle the bargaining part before we went to see the room. However he convinced us and we decided to have a look. The room looked fine, but we were still not ready to pay the amount he demanded. So we left. Back on the road, we met a lot others who offered us rooms. There was a man on his motorbike offering me a ride to show his hotel. I went with him as Abhishek and Sushanta waited for my call. I went to the room. Everything looked fine. The price was reasonable. I thought it was great. I gave them a call and told them to have a look. All of us agreed upon staying there. Now came the reality check. It cannot happen anywhere but in that hotel. The bathroom wouldn't lock from inside. Can anyone imagine of a hotel that has a bathroom without lock from inside? We complained it at the counter. The man promised to repair it.

Meeting Bikash

Bikash was at Pokhara attending Arthalaya since one week. Our plan was to meet him there on the last day of the workshop which was that day. At Arthalaya, I had asked Bikash to give me a call when the workshop was done. After we checked in the room, Bikash called. We took him to the room to freshen up when we thought of hanging around Lake Side after reminding of the bathroom's lock at the front desk one more time.

Looking for options

Arthalaya gave Bikash a good network at Pokhara. We were thinking of shifting hotel if the door wasn't straightened up. Bikash called one of his friends from Arthalaya and another room was soon arranged. The room looked fine and it was near to where we probably would hang around in the evenings. So we decided to go back to the hotel where we had put our bags. We checked the lock, it wasn't repaired as expected. We packed our bags and went to the counter to checkout. We had made up our minds of compensating some amount before leaving. But the owner was too good. He let us go without having to pay a penny. We took our bags to the new room and then left the room for Busy Bee.

Busy Bee

One of the most famous bars in Pokhara, Busy Bee is well known for live music and great ambience. We had never been there before but heard a lot about it. Champions League final between Barcelona and Manchester United was one of the reasons why we were at Pokhara. Nothing could beat Busy Bee's environment, live music and the big screen for the night. To top that, Busy Bee serves the best pizza around. All was well when the game kicked off at 12:30. Abhishek and Sushanta were supporting United while me and Bikash, Barca. The crowd however looked as 80 -20 percent for United and Barca respectively. The game was all going well for United until the tenth minute when Barca scored. Thereafter, United were nowhere in the game while Barca ruled all the way for next 80 minutes to bring down United 2-0.

The Stupa

"If you're not taking Pulsar, then take Apache from me and Enticer from another store", said the storekeeper from whom we rented the bikes. "Looks fine to me", said Sushanta as he checked the Enticer and we took the bikes. We took a boat to Talbarahi temple, before we made our way to Stupa. Uphill towards stupa was an uphill task. I gave up. Bikash took the driver's seat and we tackled all the hurdles to reach the Stupa. A peaceful place to be, the Stupa was beautiful looking and we had great time clicking photographs.

The Evening Enjoyed

The day was not so pleasing as it rained, the bike broke down and we weren't happy with how we spent the day. The evening was to arrive and we knew it was going to be a blast. Sushanta's brother Sashank and his friend arrived for drink. Almond was great place to be. After a little while Sashank and his friend left as they said they needed to prepare for their exams. We stayed there until each one of us was dead drunk. We went to Busy Bee and we enjoyed more than we had expected. Bikash was leaving on Friday so we wanted him to enjoy to the fullest. We not only danced, but dedicated a song for him. "Hey Louise, look he can pronounce my name correctly", shouted Stenie as she looked at me. "Stenya", I said and they were both excited to hear that. We all danced with Stenie and Louise for an hour or so. The day ended with the exchange of phone number with Louise.

To Bandipur

"What time is it?" asked Bikash as I looked at the watch. "8:30" I replied without realizing what it meant. And as soon as we all did, there was a panic in the room as we rushed. Bikash had to leave and before that we were to enjoy Bandipur. Bandipur is around 80 kilometres from Pokhara and we had to rent two bikes. Had we woken up on time, we were to watch sunrise from Sarangkot but Bikash had to meet his friend at Baglung Bus Park. We headed towards Bandipur at around 11. At 12:30, we were walking on the antique town. "James Bond can be shot here. This town is amazing", I heard my voice in awe. "Yeah, this place is damn nice", added Sushanta. The place looked like Patan, or maybe Bhaktapur with every place so clean and full of beauty. I can say that because, we still could appreciate the place when we had nothing until 1 o' clock that day. After having meal and a little photo shooting, we had to make our way back down to Dumre as Bikash had to catch a bus to Kathmandu.

To Pokhara

Nothing much happened on the way back to Pokhara. We were more than tired after such a long drive. Begnas Lake was one place we hadn't visited. Nothing very special about the lake, and nothing was so amazing to us as we stayed beside Fewa. Then we drove up to Sarangkot Tower. The view from the top of the hill was mesmerizing. The city couldn't look better from any other place. "It's 6:30. We had to return the bikes by now", uttered Abhishek. "We have paid for it, we will return it at around 8", Sushanta blurted. "Let's go and talk to them and ask for some more time. We have to pass through that place anyway", I said and everyone agreed. "Didi, we will bring the bikes in around one hour. Will that be okay?", I asked and she agreed too. We went to places that we had enjoyed in our last visit. The last moments at Pokhara were to be special. The view of Fistail Lodge was fascinating. The sky was clear above our heads. The Dock, whatever people call it, was ruled by cool breeze that caressed our faces. Click click, some more photographs before we were hungry. We returned the bikes and then went to Marpha Thakali. The food there was great. Busy Bee was really busy that night. We didn't have a place to sit. We thought of hanging around on the streets itself. Since it was a Friday, everyone seemed to be at Lake Side having fun. A lot of local lads and ladies were on the street. Traffic Police were busy checking every vehicle and amazingly they didn't miss any. We were tired. Damn tired. At 11 we were at the room calculating the share of expenses. I was leaving for Kathmandu the next day and Abhishek and Sushanta to Sauraha. Damn I wanted to be there but if I did, I would have piles and piles at work.

To Kathmandu

It was 6:15 when we woke up. We had to be at Tourist Bus park at 7:30. Sushanta panicked as always. He is good at that. Acting like ghost scaring people as far as punctuality is concerned. But yeah, without him we would miss exams at times. We took a taxi to the bus park. Bought two tickets to Sauraha and one to Kathmandu. I bade goodbye to them and wished them a good time. The bus was almost empty. Six tourists and me. I was too tired to remain awake. 'If we don't act now we will settle for nothing later we will settle for nothing now we will settle for nothing later' Zack De La Rocha whispered in my ears as I woke up. RATM, Radiohead and Modest Mouse helped me reach Kathmandu. Safe and Sound but sleepy definitely.

Cheers!!!

Tiring Tuesday

2009-05-26T20:25:00.003+05:30

There was a news when I woke up and it was not good. It was Sobha's grandpa's demise. Went to her house to evidence the sad scene. Everyone was crying but all I could do was watch them. I do not know how to react in such situations. However I stayed for a while and came back home to prepare breakfast as Mom had to consolidate the bereaved family.

Office was to be a mess I knew. Every time I ask for a leave, I will have to rush to finish up things before the leave. Keeping that in mind, I had planned everything okay so that I didn't have to rush in the end this time. But my boss had an idea that kept me busy and in rush. However I simply put my hats off for that idea. It was the press release for our new venture which is a great idea if you ask me. "Suman have you submitted ETC already?" I asked over the phone. "What do you want to include? Tell me", Suman replied as if he controlled the schedule of 'The Boss'. He is always like that and he can, I believe in him. "It's a press release and I want you to make it quite a significant news so that every banker reads it." I blurted and I wanted him to listen to me carefully. "Okay! You just send in the press release to Charu and CC it to me. If she misses it, I will have it printed", Suman assured me as we hung up with my 'Thanks' in the end.

Press release kept me busy for a while and viruses on my computer had a great time today. They just lengthened my job. Abhishek and Sushanta wanted me to leave the office a bit early and I had promised them that I would. But as I had to take salary in advance and also finish the press release stuff I knew it would take time. I urged them not to wait for me and they agreed.

"I just reached home, I've not even changed", she said on the phone as I called her. What timing I have. It was third day in a row that I had called her at the same time of the day. Nothing can beat my perfectionism. A couple of matters to talk about when I started feeling strange. I am possessive I know. "You remember my friend whom we met last time don't you?", she asked. How could I forget a guy who met her in front of me two days ago? "He wants to meet me tomorrow. I think I will meet him after college", she announced as if I would get jealous. I think I was. "You will what?", I asked. "I'll meet him. I don't understand him you know. One moment he acts so rude to me and the next moment he sends a message asking me out". I had nothing to say. I just felt like putting the phone down but I didn't want her to feel that I was not enjoying that. I wanted to conclude the conversation and with a little effort finally I did.

Headed home with a heavy heart trying not to think of her but in vain. At Fellowship there was good music. Subodh has good collection of songs. I felt hungry so I left for home. After dinner, packing took some time and then I am writing about my long and tiring day. Have to wake up at around 5 tomorrow. So I think I will be off to bed now.

Much of Monday

2009-05-25T19:39:00.002+05:30

Prepared meal in the morning as mom is not feeling well. "You cook occasionally but you cook so well", my Mom had no better way to make me feel glad but I had tasted the food and it was far from being tasty. After all she is a mother.

The first thing I did at work was called her. "You've already reached work?" she was surprised as though it was 7 o' clock in the morning. "Yeah, actually I'm late for office. Half an hour late". She laughed and changed the topic. She is good at that, talking north pole to south pole in a matter of seconds. "Listen listen, did I tell you about me going to college in a casual wear yesterday?" she asked and I thought how many people did she talk about her going to college on a casual wear. "Yeah you already have" I reminded her. But she had other things to talk that followed. I just loved listening to her and after around fifteen minutes she hung up saying that she was late for college.

The Pokhara trip has spoiled me. I just can't get into the mood at work. The thought of vacation always excites me reducing the zeal in work. However I sent some emails and finished some other stuff from previous responsibilities. Nothing much to mention from work except that again I was irritated at office. She knows that I don't want to fight but she has one thing or the other to start again. I try so much not to hurt her but she is there failing to mark a distinction between professional and personal matters.

The day was gloomy, raining all the time and it was good looking outside of my window all day. But as the day started to come to an end and I was to make my way home, it started to look more gloomier. Nothing but my laptop worried me. There was a ring on my phone. It was her. I called her back. "You still at office?" she asked. "How was your day? Had fun?", she puked before I could say a word. Then she told what happened at college and how her group had planned to work for the research and that she went home walking on the rain (with an umbrella though) and how much she enjoyed doing that. And I can only imagine how much I enjoyed listening to her. A couple of things to share when we hung up.

The rain was not going to stop. I just waited for another half an hour and I was hungry. Sagun and I went to our favorite restaurant there and had MoMo before I thought I should make my way. Then I wrapped my laptop in a plastic bag and then put it into my bag. The rain was heavier than I thought. I got drenched in a minute. I was still worried about my laptop and half an hour of drive I was home. I rushed to my room to find my lapotop safe in the plastic bag. Mom had already prepared dinner. Helped her a bit and then I'm here writing as usual and talking to Shaili after quite a time.

Cheers!!!

Sad Sunday

2009-05-24T19:30:00.003+05:30

Sundays are not so pleasing. I always have to bring myself into mood to work. I can never get used to losing weekend-hangovers on Sunday.

"Your message was so tragic", said Srada on the other side of the phone. Like I mentioned in yesterday's post, I had told her that she had to be dropped from the trip in my text. "I was determined until yesterday that whatever the case I will go with you and have fun", I listened to her as she spoke. "But today in class I thought about it. It is not practical. I alone cannot be with you guys because anything can happen". I would've hugged her had she been beside me saying that. It was on the phone and I couldn't express how pleased I was with what she said. I thanked her all the time, I said sorry, I was sad and I still am. But I cannot take the risk, I cannot take a chance as this chance can mean anything, it can ruin lives if we get careless.

"Don't feel that I am hurt or anything. I am sad that I can't go with you, but you enjoy to the fullest and come back to tell me the details". Can she be this good? How in the world can she be so nice to me. It was the exact opposite of what I had expected. I had thought that I should convince her and explain to her looking for the best reason. But she was the one doing that. She was the one convincing me that it is not worth taking risk. I wanted to see her and hold her in my arms when she hung up. I can't stop thinking about her.

"Sir, here is the parcel", announced Shekhar as I could see a box with my name printed on it. They were the brochures from Pakistan that Mashhood sent. I was going through the brochure when HER missed call drove my attention. I picked the phone and called her back. As soon as she picked the phone, she was telling me everything that happened all day. I don't even have to ask about her day. She tells everything in one breath all the time and then we just look for topics to talk about. That's what I like about calling her. Small things gets her excited and makes her happy. She is so feeble ready to break either way. She cries as easily as she gets happy.

Hits FM on the way back home and met Milan at Fellowship. A couple of songs on the mobile that Milan played kept me for a while. Soon the torturous tunes that Bikram played on a guitar compelled me to leave.

Mom is not feeling well however the dinner was almost ready. Helped her in the kitchen, washed dishes and I'm here writing. I'm worried what's happening to Mom. I hope she gets alright soon as I am leaving for Pokhara after two days.

:(

Sat - her - day

2009-05-23T20:15:00.002+05:30

Woke up a bit late today. Had little work at home and then had breakfast when it was already around 10:30. Called Sushanta at 11:30 and we were all meeting at Karki's place. Watched her show at Karki's room before I went to pick her up.

"Where?" I asked. "Basantapur" she answered. We headed towards Basantapur and then Jeans Cafe. She was whole different person from the day I met her last time. She was blabbering all the time talking about one thing or the other and I was listening to her wanting more to hear from her. And she was doing just that, telling me everything. "I can't stop telling you everything" she uttered and I was so glad to hear that. "I think we need to go, my Mom will start asking me of whereabouts and all" she said. She called her friend whom she told she was to give some money. He called her at Baneshwor. We waited for her friend when he arrived and after a minute we were making our way. I was thinking of dropping her home but I heard a voice from behind "Coffee?". I can't understand her, one moment she was worried about her mom's concern and the next moment she wants to have coffee and spare some more time.

I thought you wanted to go home was what I wanted to ask, but I didn't want to waste a chance to spend some more time with her. "I know a place that serves best coffee in town", she said as she was excited to show me the place. Oh really? how come I don't know the place? I didn't want to sound dumb by asking that. I said "Okay! I'd love to be there." But unfortunately the shop was not open. At Baneshwor you always have options and we dropped in at Hots. The coffee was not so great but the time that we spent there was awesome with some lovely Hindi music. "I love this song. It's nice isn't it?" she asked and I agreed with her. She looked happy all the time and I was glad. "You know, I smile, blabber and laugh out loud only either when I'm with you or with my cousin", she looked so beautiful when she said that as I was so proud of myself.

"I don't want to drop you home so early", I told her when we neared her house. "Let's go for a long drive then", she said. Is she joking? I didn't want to take a chance. "Sure" I said, " Will you be able to make it on any other day than Saturday?" Her show on Saturday doesn't allow us to take a long tour. She shook her head. "Then we shall make it to a place not too far but far enough to have fun after your show" I offered. She agreed and said good bye. I watched her as she crossed the road and disappeared into a passage that led to her house.

"Where are you guys?", I called Abhishek to confirm. "Karki's place" was the answer and I went there. They were curious to know what happened and I told them every bit of what she said. They all were excited about my new story. But I would thank them for all this. Hadn't it been them it wouldn't have been possible.

The saddest part of the day is, I have to change a situation on our Pokhara trip. Srada who is all ready to go with us has to be dropped because, I myself don't think it will be easy for us and more importantly for her to have fun with strangers. I know she is ready but I have to think of guys too. They need freedom and her presence could bar that. I have to talk to her but I don't know what am I going to say. I sent a text to her, but haven't mentioned anything about the trip just to check her mood, but thanks to NTC as it hasn't reached her phone yet.

After dinner, I am on my computer writing about my day. It has already been a long one. I think I should end it here.

Cheers!!!

Fried day

2009-05-22T19:57:00.002+05:30

Nothing special to share this time. It was a very normal day that should not return again. Fridays are pretty boring to me because I almost get fried. It would have been great had there been half holiday on Fridays. But who is going to explain that to my boss? I sometimes wonder if it is my casual wear that makes me so lazy on Fridays.

However, the progress is that my leave next week on Wednesday and Thursday has been approved meaning that the plan is 100% full proof. I am thinking of the trip actually, making plans and thinking of things that we could do, the places we could go and of course about the evenings that are going to be awesome.

Subash gets half holiday on Fridays, lucky him, but he wants to waste his half holiday by coming to my office and getting fried, what a fool he is. He was there today too, and he waited for me until 5:30 when we left. I was about to drop him home, but he had other plans in mind. He wanted to have a cup of tea and the nearest cafe in his area was around 2 kilometres away literally. We had a chit chat for about two hours and we left home.

At home after having dinner, I am here trying to make this pretty boring day remembered in the future. Haha

Cheers!!!

Total Thursday

2009-05-22T10:29:00.000+05:30

Some serious family discussion kept me from reaching work on time. It was already around 11 when I reached. Since my job responsibilities have not yet been fully transformed as I am yet to wrap up my previous responsibilities and hand them over to Madhu, I have a little more to do at work than usual. The teleconference with Mashhood was to be held for which I had to prepare an agenda. Also I had a lot of work to before the conference. However, in the conference, what we concluded was, June-July is a busy time for the banks in Nepal as it is the year-closing-time. Therefore, I do not have to rush to arrange the meetings. However, Mashhood opined that he would be happy to be in the streets of Thamel once again.

Pokhara trip needed some serious planning as I met Abhishek, Bikash and Sushanta at Khaja ghar after office. Bikash is leaving on Friday for Arthalaya, leaving us to make our way on Wednesday morning to catch him there when his workshop ends. They have no problem if I invite Srada on the trip (in fact I already have invited her however she was still to confirm if she was in). So we concluded that no matter whoever was in the trip, the trip would start on Wednesday. Then we departed for home bidding Bikash a good-bye and wishing him a great trip and time at Arthalaya.

At Fellowship, I met Milan Jigri and Subodh, just before I reached home like every other day. Nothing very special to share but there’s something about Fellowship that I enjoy; it is one of the good times everyday as we talk about music, sports, girls, and almost anything and everything under the sun. Srada called me to announce that she was in, she was coming with me. You can only imagine how happy I was to hear that, however on the back of my mind, I have a responsibility of her good care and I really need to be conscious that everyone is well behaved all the time. I know that it is not a big problem whatsoever but I have to be very sincere as far as her good care is concerned.

Wlink has some problems in our area so no internet at night, neither this morning when I am writing a draft on MSWord so that I can copy and paste it on the blog when I reach work.

Cheers!!!

Wasted Wednesday

2009-05-20T20:45:00.002+05:30

Tuesday did not end so great. I'm not sure if I acted nonchalant and overreacted but I was pissed. But it had nothing to do with what my Wednesday was going to be like.

Had an appointment at Pako with the Executive Director of Nepal Cable Television Sangh. Madhu accompanied me (with my responsibities changed, I teach Madhu everything that I used to handle) as we drove to New Road. The meeting was not so great however the contract is almost done. Back to office when Binod Dai came to visit me. Sagun had to collect some money and give it to Binod dai but it took time so Dai and me had lunch together. Then at office he took the amount and went. I was busy with my work.

Came home at around 7:30, had dinner, watched TV and wondered why do I pay to these cable distributors and they have nothing more than crap to broadcast. Talked to dada for a while.

My head is spinning and giving me all sorts of ache. I think I should sleep now.

A great Tuesday

2009-05-19T20:42:00.003+05:30

Mashhood replied from Pakistan with some changes in the draft of the agreement. Everything looked fine to us and the deal is done now meaning that I have new responsibilities from tomorrow. This job will be demanding for sure occupying my most of the time. But I'm happy whatsoever and so lucky that I got to do so many variety of things within 6 months of passing out of college.

Besides the deal, Caeser and Suman had come to visit me (with a flat tyre though). We changed the tyre followed by the repair of the flat one and then went to Bakery Cafe at Pulchowk for lunch. Had a great time after a long time with them. They dropped me office and then I had some stuffs to finish before I could head home.

I confirmed where Abhishek, Bikash and Sushanta were. Met them at Khaja ghar Gairidhara. By the way among the three Bikash got selected to attend Arthalaya at Pokhara. We all will be there next week however Bikash will leave on Friday. Had a great time with them as well. Then I came home, had dinner and watched TV for a while.

Waiting for a brand new job to start tomorrow though I will be working at the same office and on the same desk.

Cheers!!!

Moderate Monday

2009-05-18T19:57:00.003+05:30

Went to see sano mommy after more than a month since she was operated. The bad news that saddened us was finally dismissed by the doctors by saying that the tumor was not malignant and wouldn't spread meaning that it was not cancer. It was one of the news that I will never forget that made me so much happy and brought smile for a long long time. She is next to normal now, but emaciated however the smile on her face eroded my worries about her being so thin. Couldn't stay long as I had to go to office.

Sushanta called me to Staff College before I could reach office and because it was nearby, I instantly agreed (Even if it wasn't so closeby I would have made it to him whatsoever). It was like a gettogether as most of my classmates were there to appear in the exam for a job at KIST Bank. Many of them were already employed at one organization or the other, but the craze for the job in banks was well justified by their presence. Many of them though that I was there to appear for the exam as well, but I had gone just to meet Sushanta and nothing else.

At office, the first thing I did was emailed Dr. Mashhood to inform him about the latest progress that we are making in our venture. I am really hopeful about the venture and it could enhance the portfolio of our company as well. The rest of the day was a normally busy one. With a tender on the way, I am quite busy gathering information for it.

Came home right away and watched TV for a while followed by a phone call and then dinner.

Short Sunday

2009-05-17T20:36:00.002+05:30

Wasn't a big day altogether but was better than any other day last week. Last week was pretty lengthy for me as there were decisions that mattered and I had to wait for them. But today I had to put a little head into work and the day passed pretty well. I think I didn't have to watch the clock to get out of office.

With sea of changes around the nation, Madhav Kumar Nepal likely to become Prime Minister with Forum supporting him in the end on one hand and Prachanda's "proud to make the presence felt" gathering at Kula Manch on the other saw the city a little different today. But it had to do nothing with me whatsoever as I had my own business to mind.

A game to watch in the evening brought me home early (at 6:15, it is early because I don't arrive before seven generally). Liverpool played for the three points which they gained with two goals from Gerrard and Kuyt. Watched the game and now I'm writing. Don't think I'm gonna stay long as I already have a long face.

Goodnight!!

Cheers!!!

Back again

2009-05-16T20:53:00.002+05:30

Three weeks since I wrote on this blog. A number of factors keeping me away from writing over here. But suddenly I want to come back again and write about a few things.

First of all, I am back to normal busy schedule but I am expecting to change a little from now onwards. Was in talks with one of the prospects in Pakistan, the deal which is almost done. The deal has not only changed my salary but also the scope, description and intensity of work that I will have to do in the coming days.

Second, I am dating someone and feeling good about it. Will write about the details later.

Third, I am considering a new motorbike, and should be buying it soon.

Fourth, I met an old friend over the FB and she is part of my routine now.

Apart from these, there have been nothing so special to mention except that the meetings with Srada has gone down a little bit because of busy schedule as well as her becoming ill and her exams immediately after that.

Will try to write everyday because I found it great to read my earlier posts today.

Cheers!!!

12 amazing days

2009-04-25T08:42:00.003+05:30

I had never thought 12 days could pass so fast. I have lived thousands of 12 days in the past but they were not this special. It was Monday that my brother had landed in Kathmandu. I remember those fifteen minutes that I had to wait to see him at the airport and they were like decades. And the following twelve days passed like just in a minute.

It has always been a celebration at home when my brother arrives. 7 years since he left home for USA and it has been like ages. Not that it was the first time he returned home, in fact it was the fourth, but this time it was special (I know it was as special every time but I cannot help calling this a special one for reasons unknown).

I couldn't spend every minute with him but when we were together, I had a great great experience of freedom. He is a great source of learning to me, a great source of inspiration, a great source of knowledge, the source I believe will never empty. He has answers to everything, and in this age where we can become expert in whatever we want in a couple of days through the internet, I choose my other option that is him.

Now that he has flown back again, I am already starting to think of our next meeting. Don't know when, don't know where, but we will meet again for another unforgettable time.

Till then.

Cheers!!!!

Busy Week

2009-03-29T11:51:00.002+05:30

Last week was a really busy one and it is apparent because I'm writing after a week. Sunday evening was great as Liverpool won 5-0 to Aston Villa to reach the second spot in the table 1 point behind ManU. I had to attend a party on Monday. Was a great one. I guess every other day was a really busy day at work. Lots of things to take care of and I am turning into a complete mess. Attended Entrepreneurs' Talk program at Nhuchchhe's in Baluwatar where Ajaya Ghimire, CEO Vibor Bank had come to share his experience. Was a great program overall. Friday was a very normal day.

Saturday was a great one. Met friends, snooker, seminar, and then party in the end. Was a great Saturday.

Now I am back to work.

Cheers!!!

Saturday Enjoyed

2009-03-22T10:53:00.002+05:30

Yesterday was a great day. The morning was quite usual but the afternoon was great. I called Sushanta and he instantly agreed to go out. I wanted to buy some clothes and we went to withdraw some money from Nepal Investment Bank's ATM at Bhatbhateni. Guess what? It was out of order. Tried at an ATM at Durbar Marg - Out of order. Tried at New Road - Out of order. Sushanta had some cash with him so I thought of borrowing. We walked around New Road but most of the stores were closed as it was saturday. We then decided to go to World Trade Centre. We went to the bowling alley right away and then bowled a game. Then we had lunch and then I shopped a little.

It was around 7 when we were done with shopping. Great day altogether. Tried watching football in the end but soon got asleep.

Not a Friday

2009-03-22T10:07:00.001+05:30

Friday did not look like a Friday to me. As any other day there was work at office however a little less. The day was pretty gloomy with a little rainfall. G Sir left for USA. Didn't go to Chamunda or hospital but went home directly in the evening. Had dinner and slept.

Tiring Thursday

2009-03-20T10:26:00.002+05:30

Yesterday was a pretty normal tiresome day. Nothing was unusual except I had to go to see Sanima at the hospital. She is quite okay right now. Dada called in the evening and had a little chit chat. No light at 8. Slept at 9.

Gloomy Wednesday

2009-03-19T14:07:00.002+05:30

Like the weather was yesterday, my day was also pretty gloomy. Though I was almost sure about the cancer, it was diagnosed yesterday. The day was pretty okay......but the evening was really saddening as I visited sanima and she was going through all sorts of pain.

:(

Great Tuesday.....but sad news at the end :(

2009-03-18T06:29:00.004+05:30

Yesterday too I didn't have petrol so had to catch two buses to office. But it was already 9:15 when I left home. I was not as fortunate as on Monday as I had to wait for 10 minutes when the bus finally arrived. Took the bus to Ratnapark and then had to take another one to Jawalakhel. Again I was not as fortunate as on Monday as I had to wait for the bus again at Ratnapark. And somehow I was able to catch one where I met Prativa Didi from NCC. She was taking her daughter to school at Jawalakhel for her exams. Had a chit chat on the way where we talked about the nearly approaching election in college, how the politics inside the college has seen people willing to take each other's lives and many more. Finally I reached the office at 10:20.

Had a meeting with all the department heads, CEO and the Chairman. Then had a little stuff to finish up before I met Srada for lunch at Makoo. Had a chit chat for a while and she handed me an invitation card for Pukku's Annaprasan on Monday. Then she dropped me office where backup had already gone. I asked Jeetendra if there were any visits he had to make and he said that he was to visit Nepal Craft Gallery at Chakupat. I asked him to make a call and fix the time. Mr. Aabishkar from Nepal Craft Gallery asked him to visit right away and I accompanied Jeetendra as I would have no work in the office in the absence of electricity.

We reached Nepal Craft Gallery at Chakupat in 15 minutes or so. Mr. Aabishkar was really interesting person who discussed about his past experiences with companies like ours and how disappointed he was with them. However, he looked in a mood to carry the project with us whatsoever but still he needs some more time when he will pay a visit to our office and look at other factors before we can start.

Then we went to the office. Rajesh ji from Orbit had been trying to reach me from the morning he said over the phone. He wanted me to restructure the quotation that I had sent to him earlier. I looked at it and reduced the price by removing a feature and sent it back to him. I hope he is satisfied with the price now.

Then in the evening I had no meeting at Chamunda and since I hadn't brought my motorbike I was walking to Jawalakhel with Jeetendra when I thought of having coffee with Srada again. Called her and she came right away. Our first option Jazoo was reserved for a party, so had to go to Alina's where the coffe is not as good as at Jazoo. It was around 7:15 when we headed home, she left me at Sundhara and went back and I caught a micro bus and went home.

At home, there was a sad news that 'Sanima's test reports showed that it was Cancer. I was so saddened by the news that I didn't feel like eating and even couldn't sleep. There was no light, therefore no option. Had to go to bed but I couldn't sleep that easily. However, I don't remember when I fell asleep.

.......Monday

2009-03-17T10:23:00.004+05:30

Yesterday I didn't have petrol so had to take two buses to Jawalakhel. Had quite a day at office as I mentioned earlier, office is a little mess right now with things being managed and renovated in terms of process. Had work until 6:30. Sachindra ji drove me to Tinkune in his car in the evening where I met friends. Went home with Sushanta at around 7:30, had dinner, no light, slept.

Exciting Sunday

2009-03-15T21:03:00.005+05:30

Start was quite pathetic today. I had already planned to nullify the effects of banda, but it outsmarted me. The banda was called off for which too I was prepared. But the unavailability of petrol saw me panic for a while. But thanks to Suraj who gave me a litre of petrol that enabled me to go to the office. It was nice to play a prank on Rajani as she called me on my way to the office when I was almost there. I acted as if I was unaware of the banda's being called off and went up to the reception talking on the phone with her telling her that I was home. She was annoyed and I enjoyed. It was fun.

Then had to visit a client at 12 at Thamel. Went to Thamel to two clients, took their requirements. After that, I had to go to Samriddhi Foundation as they had invited for a meeting. Met Srada at Baneshwor before we went to Samriddhi together. It was really nice to see Robin dai again. Moreover, I met many people from Arthalaya with the likes of paapi (chandra), Prakash, Diwash, Naresh, Min Kumar and Nar Kumar. Good to see those faces again. We talked about Samriddhi Corps which is an autonomous youth wing of Samriddhi. I even talked about my plans for a gettogether which at first I had scheduled for this Saturday but as Robin and David both won't have time that day, I am thinking of postponing it for next Saturday maybe.

It was already 2:30 when the meeting was over. I never wanted to leave whatsoever but had to return back to office. So me and Srada made our way to Jawalakhel she heading home and me office. Had a little work to finish. There are a few hot issues around office as the CEO is leaving for Brussels and US after 5 days. Lots of mess, lots of unmanaged things around and lots of panic.

I knew I was already running out of petrol by then and had to make my way home quite early because of the possibility of having to drag the motorbike home from anywhere. However I was lucky that I didn't have to. Came home to wait for electricity which was to come at 8 and this time NEA didn't fail. Before 8 I met some friends around and talked about how well Liverpool played the earlier day. How amazingly did Arshavin score for Arsenal and how tight the angle was. Srada called and I was thinking of meeting her for lunch tomorrow, but she said she was going to an old-age home with her fiancee. That's absolutely okay, because it has been quite a few days since me and Jeetendra had lunch together.

Watched TV, surfed net and am writing on the blog. I think I'll sleep a little late to wake up late tomorrow too. But I know I will have catch a bus to office tomorrow so better sleep early to get up early.

Cheers!!!

Family Saturday

2009-03-15T08:06:00.002+05:30

I spent my Saturday with family. Had other plans but had to cancel because of unplanned emotional settings.

Freaky Friday

2009-03-14T08:16:00.003+05:30

Yesterday was quite a freaky day for me. I reached office on time and usual stuffs to begin with. At 1:30 I borrowed Sagun's bike and headed college with Sagun himself. Had to collect the certificate which was still not ready. I handed an application to the college stating that I will not be able to appear again to collect the certificate and hence handover it to Kargil. Came back to office and Jeetendra had brought newari baji for lunch. Newari baji is one of the dishes I enjoy the most. Had no time to spend so had lunch on my table working. There was again a quotation to be sent by the end of the day. Prepared a quotation again by borrowing Sadhana's computer as the server was still under maintenance. Nevertheless this was the first time I enjoyed preparing a quotation as it was quite different for we had to allocate a margin for some other person. Me, Sachindra, Sadhana, Madan and Rohit, all were involved in preparing it and it was fun.

It was around 6 when I and Jeetendra left the office together. But as I had mentioned in my earlier post, my bike was not repaired good enough the other day. So it helped me reach only as far as Jawalakhel. Had to drag the bike a little bit and there was a workshop, the owner of which was Jeetendra's acquaintance. He repaired it and there was a minor defect he said and did not charge. I offered him to sell my bike in 40k but he said he can only pay 35k. We're under negotiation.

There was a call from Abhishek, he wanted to go to chamunda along with me from Pulchok. I picked him up and we went to chamunda to meet Kargil. He handed me my certificate but there was an error which will be amended by Kargil on Sunday maybe. Talked for a while and my mom called me as usual. I headed home. And on the way, Srada called and I drove home talking to her all the way into my room until I was ready for dinner. Had a great conversation.

Ate dheedo for dinner and then searched for Worldbank Scholarships. Found one but I'm still not eligible to apply as it requires 2 years of working experience. I think I will apply whatsoever. Then watched TV for a while and went to sleep at around 11.

Tiresome Thursday

2009-03-13T07:29:00.002+05:30

Yesterday was pretty hectic for me. As usual I woke up late and was in rush for office and as usual there were lots of emails to send, lots of projects to look after, lots of quotations to prepare, lots of phone calls to make and attend. Moreover, I had to go to college to fetch a certificate and return back to office. I had allocated only one hour to finish up with stuff at college but you know what it is like in government college. I had to run from one corner to the other in search of people, their signatures and approval. Somehow I managed to find everyone and their signatures in two hours' time. But the most annoying thing was that they asked me to collect the certificate on Friday. Now I will have to spend another 2 hours on Friday as well.

Went back to office. There was a quotation that had to be sent by the evening and Navision (a quotation generating software at the office) was down because of the maintenance in the server. Had to borrow Sadhana's computer for a while and generated quotation, prepared a proposal and sent to the client. Interestingly, the one who had to receive the quotation had already left the office. A little later, I received a failure notice notifying that the email could not be delivered. It couldn't get worse. I packed my bags at around 6:30 and headed home. To add to everything, my motorbike broke down in the middle of the road. Luckily I found a workshop nearby and got it repaired but I still don't believe it has been repaired good enough.

Reached home at 7:15, had dinner, lights went out at 8:00. As I was tired I was not frustrated like always because of the load shedding. But the lights came back at 8:05 to everyone's surprise. I thought it must be because of Tarai Bandh which has closed down most of the industries and NEA has enough spare electricity :P. Did not sleep but watched TV surfed net and then slept at around 11. Oh yeah talked to Srada for a while on the phone :P.

Wednesday

2009-03-12T07:03:00.002+05:30

Woke up late as I had watched the match the other night. Went to office as usual and started to work. Had plans to go to college for character certificate but was postponed maybe for Thursday. Went to Chamunda in the evening. Came back home. Had dinner. Lights went out. Slept.

Quiet Holi

2009-03-11T10:43:00.003+05:30

Like every year, I had no plans for holi. However somehow I ended up playing holi every year. But not this time. Actually it is the Nepal Electricity Authority that kept holi at bay. How? As per the schedule electricity must have been available at home only from 12 o' clock. But I woke up at 8 to find it available. So I finished all my stuffs on the internet by 11 o' clock. Then I watched TV as we get very little opportunity these days and I ended up watching it until 4 o' clock when the lights went out. Read a book until it was dark and then went out to a friend's place for a little bit of jam up (acoustic). Came back home had dinner and slept early as I had to wake up at 1:30 a.m. to watch Liverpool vs Real Madrid. Great gameplay by Liverpool as they already had a 1-0 away lead on the first leg and then they added 4 goals at home that led them to round of 8 on an aggregate of 5-0. Went to bed again at 3:30.

A very normal Monday

2009-03-10T10:37:00.002+05:30

Yesterday was pretty normal day. Office was as usual with lots of emails and phone calls and of course a little bit of project supervision.

Chamunda was as usual except for Sushanta left a little early that means I came home alone. No light as usual. There was a confusion over the phone with Srada as I had to put the phone down suddenly and sure she was damn confused. Wanted to clear the confusion through text but thanks to NTC's network, I was unable to. Little later, I used a friend's phone to text her and received one back.

Slept at 10.

Long Day

2009-03-08T21:58:00.003+05:30

It was a long day today. No I didn't wake up early neither am I going to stay long after publishing this post. However, I'm finding this Sunday a long one. Mixed feelings at the end of the day which is not quite usual. Had a normal day at office, but not a usual one either as there were two meetings which in the end were worthless if you ask in terms of productivity. Work is getting in my nerves. I had to be clear about everything by now, but the more I get into it the more complicated it is. I think I'll have to hire a new marketing officer under me as Jeetendra is moving to customer service department. There should be someone brilliant and a person with very very positive attitude towards work to replace him.

The day was with not much phone calls, not very comfortable one either. No Chamunda visit at the end of the day. I came back home with a not-as-terrible headache as on Friday.

Boring Saturday

2009-03-07T19:57:00.003+05:30

Today was a pretty gloomy day for me. I knew I was not going to feel very good. To add to that I was pretty pissed with people as they take me for granted. "You know what your problem is? You don't say 'NO' to anyone", said Srada on the phone and she is right. I'm a sycophant smiling and trying to be good to everyone. I know I have to change myself.

Whatever happened to the Jiri trip, I was in no mood to go. I have dropped the whole idea of attending the wedding ceremony now. I will be at the office tomorrow to everybody's surprise. In fact I have lot of work at office. So whatever happens, happens for good.

Life is such.

Cheers

Confused friday

2009-03-07T08:00:00.003+05:30

Met Caeser online after a long time. He offered me a trip to Jiri. Actually I would have never thought about going had not there been a wedding ceremony of my cousin's daughter on Monday near around Jiri. But if you ask me, I never want to go. I talked to my boss and he approved the leave very very unwillingly. I had to meet Srada at 1 for lunch. We met and as usual talked and talked this time at Jazoo. The coffee at Jazoo is mindblowing. Dropped Srada at Kumaripati and went back to office to finish stuffs that would be mess in my absence otherwise. Went to Chamunda in the evening, met friends and came back home with a terrible headache. Talked to Srada over the phone for a while and then got into bed to wake up early the next morning to catch up with the guys for the trip. But later in the evening, Suman called who was also a part of the trip and informed that the trip has been scheduled differently and also could be canceled which came to me as a relief. Texed Srada about it and the chat went on until we both were asleep.

I hope I will not have to attend the wedding ceremony whatsoever.

Cheers!!!

Great Evening

2009-03-06T10:10:00.002+05:30

My schedule has been hectic ever since I came back from Arthalaya. There are lots of stuffs to finish and I'm always in rush. Yesterday was no exception. But I was too excited as I was meeting Srada in the evening. I had a great time with her. We went to Alina's and talked and talked and talked. We talked about anything and everthing under the sun that could relate to us. Arthalaya, as always was what we didn't miss out talking. Great time with her, back home at around 7:30. Load shedding at 8. On the bed at 9. And back to office this morning.

Cheers

Back from Banepa

2009-03-05T06:44:00.002+05:30

Yesterday was basically a rush for me. I had to be at Banepa at 2:30 and it was already 1:35 when I was at the office. I took the motorbike and then rushed towards Banepa alone. Srada had promised to go but she had to cancel the trip at the last moment as Pukku got ill. I reached HRDC at 2:20 and everything was according to the plan. But the Docs had some major operation to perform that delayed the meeting by half an hour. At 3:00, Dr. Ashok K Banskota started the meeting formally by sharing his experiences. Then he handed over the stage to me and I started my session which was quite well but I think I underperformed. I had not taken lunch and the session lasted for around 1 and half hour. All I wished was for it to end and that must be the reason why I could not live up to my expectation.

Came back home and I think my motorbike needs some repairing this morning. I don't know how am I going to reach the office today.

Arthalaya Rocked

2009-03-03T07:36:00.004+05:30

It was not until the call I received that I had started wondering what it was going to be like. Thanks to Narayan for getting me informed about it as he had attended the workshop a month earlier. I was initially not so excited but yet was happy to have got selected.

Arthalaya is a 5 day Entrepreneurship training program including 24 participants in every batch. It is different from any other workshop that I had attended and how is for you to find out yourself.

There are lots of things I gained, and on top of everything, I found very good friends. Higher than that, I found Srada my best friend among them. At first, I had once thought of coming back home because it was getting hard for me to get along with anyone. But as the days passed, I was not at all willing for that day to come. As I and Srada started getting along, we were literally lost in each other's company.

Besides finding friends, I felt the sense of change within me. I knew it was never going to be the same again. And since then, it has never been the same again. Arthalaya gave me everything it could and the most important asset I gained was the circle of 24 great people. More importantly, my connection with Samriddhi Foundation cannot be ruled out at all.

Thank you Robin dai, Arpita Di, David, Surath and all the other members, the speakers and last but not the least - Dhulikhel and Dhulikhel Village Resort.

Cheers

7:37 a.m.

2009-02-22T07:19:00.002+05:30

Just got up this Sunday morning. There was a message on my cell from Susan, replied back and now my mom is telling me to go to the barbershop. She says my hair needs a cut and this is the 5th time she said it this week and I'm still not convinced.

Long time indeed

2009-02-21T10:01:00.002+05:30

Only after viewing my blog after publishing the last post did I realize that it has indeed been quite a time. I have nowhere mentioned that I left "The Boss" which was 3 months back.

I quit for reasons I don't know. I'm not sure if I'm happy with the new job. I don't know what's important - satisfaction/ money/ work/ just getting involved.

Anyways I'm the boss of my department now, I have authority, power and autonomy. I think that made the difference.

Long time

2009-02-21T09:59:00.003+05:30

Been quite a time since I ever wrote a word. Number of factors keeping my posts at bay.

Electricity
Job
Myself being lazy
...........

Anyways good to be back again.

8:04 p.m.

2008-10-17T19:49:00.002+05:30

Today was my first assignment literally. I was to attend a press conference at the Nepal Tourism Board organised by Ghanpokhara Festival Committee. It was good to attend the conference as a journalist and when you're there from "The Boss" you always get special attention. Went back to office and wrote about the event. Anurag Dai approved the writing.

Cheers

8:38 p.m.

2008-10-16T20:23:00.002+05:30

As was yesterday the first day at office, today was my first leave from the office. Sounds quite insensitive but I had to take the leave because my Dad had to undergo a surgical operation (a minor one - hydrocil) and I had to be there. Though the operation was a minor one, I was nervous and restless the whole time he was inside the operation theater. But as expected it went perfectly well however he is a bit unusual and that is obvious. Basically the day was tiresome as I had to rush to Bhaktapur right after bringing Dad back home, to settle some stuffs.

Cheers

8:48 p.m.

2008-10-15T20:32:00.002+05:30

The first day at office was pretty good. The people were really very friendly. Anuraag Verma (Anuraag dai) acquainted us (me and Narayan) to all the staff. Since we are in the Editorial department, the people in our team are Anuraag dai (Assistant Editor), Nilima Didi (Editing Manager), Caeser (Sub Editor), Sagar, Suman, Narayan and me the reporters. The work does not seem to be very difficult however it is not that easy as well. However there are people to assist so it should not be difficult. There is a certain pattern of writing, should get used to that and there will not be a problem.

Cheers

7:46 a.m.

2008-10-15T07:28:00.002+05:30

I am getting ready. It is the first day at work. I'm a bit nervous yet very excited. Narayan is also there to give me company as a new staff. Hope we will have a good time with new people, new environment and obviously new job and responsibilities.

Cheers

Got the Job

2008-10-03T21:05:00.002+05:30

Today I got the job at "The Boss", a leading business magazine in Nepal. I am really happy and excited but it will only start after Dashai (October 15th).

The Boss Magazine

2008-09-16T19:50:00.002+05:30

I had applied for a job of a reporter yesterday. They called me for a written exam tomorrow. Will appear for a written exam fighting for a job for the first time in my life. Let's see what happens!!!